Well this was a fun day.

Work was...work. There was a guy there who graduated from CHS the same year I got there. I guess he's back on break or something, sometimes college kids come back to work while they're on break. He was a cool guy, he asked me how bad CHS had gotten and I responded with, "We got a new principal. Again." and he laughed. At some point Matt called to tell me he got into college and I got all excited for him and scared my coworkers.

I realized that I'll probably miss my job once I don't have it anymore, but I think it's probably better this way. I can actually have a life now and I'll be able to see my grandfather more and sleep more and it should be good. I hope.

Came home and I already posted this stuff, so I'll skip it.

Then Diane and Philippe came over to watch Forum and much chaos ensued...okay, the chaos didn't actually ensue until later. We watched Forum and ate pizza, then watched bits of Funny Girl and made fun of everything we could think of. Molly finally called after we had finished that and she came over. We then started watching A Very Muppet Christmas. This started much insane conversation. We went from talking about whether or not Kermit has feet to talking about Sesame Street. Here's the funniest bit of conversation:

Diane: Sesame Street's too politically correct now. Bert and Ernie don't even live in the same house anymore.
Robin, Philippe, and Molly: :::gasp::: They don't?!??! Noo!!!
(My mom walks out of the kitchen where she was making latkes)
Robin: Mom! Bert and Ernie don't live in the same house anymore!
Mom: They don't?!??! Oh no!!
(My dad walks downstairs to see what the fuss is about)
Robin: Dad! Bert and Ernie don't live in the same house anymore!
Dad: They don't?! You mean they broke up?!
(Molly, Diane, Philippe, Mom, and I all crack up)

At one point Philippe made some kind of remark about my social life, to which I responded by throwing a pillow off the couch in his face. This began what I'll call the great pillow war. Girls against boy. We kicked his ass, don't care what he says. Eventually, Diane had to leave which was sad. So Molly, Philippe and I sat around for awhile watching Cosby on Nick at Nite and then decided to play scrabble for some reason. I was pretty bad at it and gave up. Molly kicked our collective asses (seriously, after I quit she gave Philippe my points and she was STILL in the lead). At around 11:30 I realized we still hadn't lit Hannukah candles, so my parents came downstairs and we lit the candles on my really pretty Menorah that looks like the wailing wall in Jerusalem. I got it for my Bat Mitzvah. Mom went a little hebrew school teacher-y on Philippe and started explaining what the prayers meant. He didn't seem to mind too much, though. Then it was time for Philippe to leave, which left Molly and I watching some weird Cirque de Soleil thing. My parents came downstairs and gave me my Hannukah present (a Kermit doll! It was very exciting, he talks and everything...I'm such a little kid). Molly left and here I am. It was lots and lots of fun and I wish I had a really big house so I could have all my friends over all the time.

And tomorrow is a VERY busy day. ::sigh::

I just applyed to University of Pittsburgh online.

AHHHH!!!

I'm fine. Scary college lady is gonna kill me. She basically forbid me to apply online...sucks for her. I blame Matt because he called me at work to say HE GOT INTO UVA!!! Yay Matt!!!! Hopefully I just didn't screw up his telling other people himself...eh, whatever, no one reads this anyway.

But then I got all jealous 'cause he's already IN college and I haven't even applyed (or applied? huh? brain melty), so I came home and applyed online and AHHHH!!!

And now I have to clean so people can come over and watch Forum.

And I just choked on a Cheez It.

Bye.

This is the longest I've been home since I left the house this morning for school. So sleepy...but I'll write anyway.

First: School

Got to chorus, left to sign up for musical auditions in stupid Mr. Healy's office (I have to audition on Tuesday...fuck), and get my green slip. Chorus was basically...nothing. The most interesting thing was that Mike, Philippe and I were all wearing jeans and green sweaters/sweatshirts and I was the only one embarassed by this.

Ooh! Seniors get out of all studies now! Yes! Well, seniors who aren't getting suspended or have bad grades or anything...and somehow, that means I get out of study. Sooo glad. I don't know how much more Ms. Y'ikona I could take. She has an apostrophe in the middle of her name....it just makes me uncomfortable. And she has a color coded book for signing out to go to teachers of the library or even the bathroom...it just makes no sense.

Right. Then there was study where I sat and wrote goofy notes to Philippe and looking at the school newspaper while flicking all the names and pictures of people who I don't like (c'mon, I'm allowed to be openly bitchy sometimes, okay?) when I really should have been doing my English homework. Eh.

Math was next with Mr. Klemer. Since about five people were absent, Mr. Klemer decided there was no point in actually doing anything all class period, so we sat and talked about Thanksgiving food. Then he started talking about hunting and all the weird things he eats. A direct quote from Mr. Klemer himself:

"Squirrel's good eatin'"

Enter whatever sarcastic remark you can think of here.

Then English where we wrote little responses on what we were thankful for and then watched The Grapes of Wrath. The movie takes nearly as long as the book, I swear. And do people know that Mrs. Petrallia has a tattoo? 'Cause Anna and I were talking about this yesterday and it's just very very strange.

That was the boring part of my day. After school Anna, Philippe, Mike, Jen, two of Jen's friends, Toby who I hadn't really talked to before today, and I all went to JP Lee's. The Josh who still lives in Jersey was supposed to come with us, but didn't for some reason, and Kaity was supposed to go, too, but we couldn't find her! Kaity, I'm sorry! Please don't hate me forever and ever, pleeeeaaaasssee, I will make it up to you. Oh yes, and the Josh who doesn't live in Jersey anymore (sooo confusing, too many Josh's) but is home for Thanksgiving was supposed to come meet us there, but he was asleep. Dumb college boys and their oversleeping.

JP Lee's was fun, we saw Stephane and Linda and Ed there. Mike and Philippe and I ended up sitting with Linda and Stephane for awhile, leaving Anna and Toby with Ed who was playing weird number games with forks. He would rearrange the forks and they were supposedly a number that we were supposed to guess. Actually, it was just that he had a certain number of fingers held up near the forks and that was the number we were supposed to guess and we were just too distracted by the forks to notice. When I found this out I showed him a certain finger of my own.

We were having so much fun at JP Lee's that a bunch of us decided to go to Mike's house. A bunch of us being Mike (of course), Linda, Philippe, Stephane, and I. Or me? Or...fucking grammer, who gives a shit. So we watched Stephane play video games for awhile and then watched Mallrats, except I had to leave for work before it was over. Damn.

I QUIT MY JOB!!!!! YES!!!! I'm working through Nutcracker, but that's really not that much, I'll be done by the end of December. I'm ending on good terms, which means if I want to come back to work someday it probably won't be so hard. It's nice to know I could get a job if I really needed to.

Worked. Got fed up with the Annie stage mothers, they're completely obnoxious and think that they own the lobby. So untrue. Concessions owns the lobby, they have their own little room, now get the hell out.

Got home and went online where I was ambushed by the Josh that no longer lives in Jersey (too many Josh's! Ahh!) to go to Taco Bell with him and Jason. So I was gone again about ten minutes after I got home. I was picked up first and Jason was very surprised to see me when we picked him up as he didn't seem to know that Josh and I even knew each other, let alone are friends. Went to Taco Bell, then drove around for awhile, dropped Jason off (ha! for once I wasn't the first person dropped off! Finally, someone with an earlier curfew than me.), went to 7-11 and the reservation for lack of anything better to do. The reservation is scary and cold, but you can see the stars really well and New York and it's very pretty. Except I was freezing, but whatever. And I thought Orion was one of the dippers....oops. I'm not so good with the science. I like looking at stars, but I'm always a little frightened at first. When I was little I was scared to look up at the stars, I thought something would come and get me, like aliens or something (shut up, I was really little). Plus I was still in New York, and if you look up in New York at night all you see are big scary buildings. I guess I just never completely got used to big open sky. But stars are pretty anyway. And there were deer. And some people in a car nearby with very foggy windows...hmm...now what could they be up to?

Then it was time to go home. Got to my house a few minutes early so we sat in the car until 1:01 AM, just so I could be rebellious by being one minute late. Go me. And then I came up here to the computer. Tada.

Molly's home, too!! I need to see her sometime soon, maybe I'll see her tomorrow depending on what she's doing. I'll call and bug her when I get home. I miss Molly.

And everyone's asleep. You people stink.

And Matt gave me a shout out in his blog. I feel special. :-)

Time for sleep...or not, but time for not having to spell things properly anymore. Night night everyone.

Hannukah is in two days and I haven't gotten anyone anything.

This morning I was laying on the couch watching bad morning TV when my mom yells from upstairs "Robin Emily!! You are getting me a jewelry box for Hannukah and you don't have to do anything, I will order it myself and you will give me fifty dollars for it!!" and then she started banging things around.

My mom's a little scary sometimes. But at least now I don't have to worry about her present.

Have to go add links now.

Why can't I have a cool name for my blog? It's just not fair.

I was gonna go to school today, I swear. But I woke up and still felt shitty and got dressed and ready anyway until my mom was like, "Are you okay?! Do you need to stay home again?!". So I decided if I still felt like shit and my mom was willing to let me stay home without a fight, then I would.

And I swear, if I hear "You're still sick?!" or "You're always sick!" or anything like that one more time I will become more violent than usual.

Anyway.

So last night the shit hit the fan in various forms. I was resolving a serious issue with one person while having a serious discussion with another person while on the phone being silly with yet another person. What a night...

I have to go to scary college lady today anyway. :::sigh:::

I cursed off a telemarketer today. I'm extremely proud of myself.

And now...

...I really don't know what to do with myself.

Soooo....

Second show tonight...or last night...it's very late now.

Yesterday I woke up at around 2 and just hung around for awhile. Got my report card which I'd completely forgotten I was getting today, but it was okay. Thank goodness.
My mom got me pajamas.
I hung around watching The Osbournes marathon (someone get me the first season DVD. PLEASE?! It comes out in March, just in time for my birthday!) until Matt called to wish me luck at the show. That was nice of him. But I'm not going out with him. I repeat: I AM NOT GOING OUT WITH MATT. NOW PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP. I'm sick of people asking me that, just SHUT UP.
Then I finally got showered and dressed and got to school at about 6:30. I figured out that I got so nervous during the first show because I was there two hours ahead of time and had nothing to do but sit there and get nervous. So I got there in enough time to get on my costume and make up (and give people hugs, 'cause it's a necessity) and go onstage. It worked and I was fine. THANK GOD. The show went well, except for little things that always get screwed up. One of the candles didn't light at the end and that was annoying, but whatever.

The show ended and my whole family was there and a bunch of my friends and I've never been hugged so much in my life. My grandfather made it to the show and I was very glad, 'cause he really wanted to see it. He was pretty tired by the end, but it was so important to him to go to this show, I'm so proud of him and glad he got to see me. Got interviewed by CCN and probably said some dumb things, but whatever. My phone rang in the middle of the interview and it was Matt and Philippe finding out how everything went. I told them we were going to the cast party and they decided to crash, which I think scared Liza a little until she realized who it was and then said it was fine. The party was at her house. Poor Liza didn't know what to do with all of us there, but we mostly entertained ourselves.

Now for the real fun. The cast party. That's the only reason people ever do shows, anyway. Drove with Josh to Liza's house (although we almost ended up in West Orange...oops) and as soon as we got there got a call from Matt and Philippe saying they were lost and yelling at each other. Good job, guys, you make me proud.

The party was fun. Linda and Matt H decided to try and become one body in the middle of the living room (well not exactly...but they were sitting there holding each other FOREVER...it was weird). Miles nearly died from cat hair and had to leave early. Poor Miles. According to Matt I was apparently very popular and had an arm around me nearly all night. Go me. Let's see, Mike was sitting next to me while clinging to me (although I'm pretty sure he said to me that I was too uptight or something...I'm sorry! I'm just not used to that much attention!), followed by Matt who was not clinging to me as much, followed by Josh who was also not clinging to me as much, followed by Brent trying to freakin rape me. That part was not so much fun and I shot him down pretty damn quick. Although he was literally on top of me when I shot him down. Jesus. When a girl says "Stop. Get off me." You GET OFF HER. That just pisses me off so much.

And then it was time to leave because of my stupid graduated license (or GDL as some people have started calling it) that doesn't let me drive after midnight. Got back in the car with Josh and drove home (while ranting to him a little bit about things I'd rather not discuss right here...poor Josh).

And that was my night. And I'm exhausted and don't know WHY I'm up at 4 in the morning, but whatever. I can't believe the play is over, I'm barely going to get to see some of those people and that's VERY sad. I'm gonna miss them so much. I'll get to see some of them, though, I hope.

And now I'm sleepy. Good night.

Got my report card. My lowest grade was a C+ in Bio 'cause I'm bad at her tests. She wrote really nice things about me, though, the nicest of any of my teachers. And I got a B+ in health. Thank goodness. I handed in all two assignments on the last day of the marking period. Hehe.

And they left off math completely...hmm...going to have to talk to Mrs. Tenenbaum about that.

Remember children:

When you assume, you make an ass of u and me.

But I already make an ass of myself most of the time anyway. So all you really accomplish is making an ass out of yourself and REALLY pissing me off.

Meanwhile, I had a dream that we were doing both "Cagebirds" and "The Dining Room" at the same time, but I blew them both off because for some reason I was going to the Emmy's. And for some reason I was in New York and my aunt showed up wearing too much make up and pushing a baby carriage and offered to take me shopping in Charlotte Russe. And Charlotte Russe was suddenly a much bigger store with a convention center and everything, and when I tried to go try on clothes, some random guys were in there trying to watch me (I blame that on the co-ed changing that goes on at the play) and they wouldn't go away, so I tried to punch one of them but I ended up being very slow and weak and it didn't work so well. That's around the time that I woke up, I think.

And I still don't feel so great. Maybe I really am sick? I dunno.

The show was tonight. I don't really want to talk about it, but I will because for some reason I feel the need to explain myself.

I had a full blown out of control panic attack backstage from pre-show on. It was horrible. It was the worst physical feeling I've ever felt in my life. The feeling that I was going to throw up every five seconds and there was no way I could possibly be comfortable. I was constantly moving around and feeling like crying or screaming or something and I just couldn't find a single way to be comfortable. I seriously looked like a moron running around and crying and just being weird in general.

But the worst part is that it was completely humiliating. I knew what was happening and I knew my reactions were extreme and making me look stupid and I couldn't stop them. My mother had to come backstage, I was that crazy. I felt like such an idiot. I still feel really dumb. I made such a scene, I didn't want to. If I was going to be miserable, I wanted to be miserable by myself so no one would see me. But the whole not being able to be comfortable caused me to be pacing around like a crazy person and it was just...ugh. It was horrible.

I love the cast though. They totally supported me. If it had been anyone but them, I would have just left and not been able to deal. I'm so grateful to them, I can't even express it. I know I was being crazy and worrying people and making people more nervous about the show, but I would not have been able to do anything without them showing that they cared.

I did manage to get through the show. When I got on stage for some reason I started to feel a little better. I'd still feel sick, but less so. I could get my lines out and stuff, and apparently no one but my mother noticed that I was sick. My mom knew because I called her and because she said she can tell when I'm sick because I make some face or something. I don't know. I'm just glad that people didn't notice (until I told them, that is. I do that. I figure they'll probably find out eventually, better if I just say it straightforward).

I'm scared it'll happen again. But...whatever. I'm sick of thinking about it.

The show went well despite my backstage dramatics, and I'm glad. I'm so proud of everyone.

Philippe got me flowers! That made me happy. Laura from crew (who is very very nice and tried to comfort me despite me not knowing her name and us never talking before) is came up to me and gave me the flowers and said who they were from and I went "Where is he?! I wanna see him!" and was nearly crying because I was so grateful and I knew it might be a little comforting to see him, but they had kicked him out and wouldn't let me go outside. He wrote a very nice note on it and I'm so glad I have a friend like him.

My parents got me a little doll and my mom wrote on her tee shirt (the doll's, not my mom's, that would have just been tacky) "We <3 your attitude" to match my shirt that says "I <3 my attitude problem".

Went to the diner after the show despite still not feeling great. That was fun, talked to Philippe and Linda and Matt a lot. Also got really gross tea that I though might make me feel a little better, but didn't really. And now I'm tired.

Good night.

My car smells like dog shit.

Because I stepped in some leaves. Where someone had happened to let their dog take a shit.

Then I drove my car.

So there's dog shit remnents on the peddles.

EWWWWWW.

I feel truly shitty right now and greatly unappreciated, so I'll just write this vague thought that I had on my mind:

Don't bitch about things you should have known would happen. A phrase I hate, but that seems appropriate: If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. You speak out and make your voice heard, be ready to hear some not so nice things. Deal with it. It's how the world works. I'm not saying to give up whatever you're doing, not in the least. But don't start whining the second someone disagrees with you. Don't bitch about it when someone says, "Hey, I don't like what you're saying. I don't like what you're doing." They can say that, they have the right to think it and believe it and whether you like it or not, they may just say it to your face. Go ahead and get mad about it, but don't act like you never saw it coming. Don't act like you never believed it was possible you could piss someone off. No one's that special.

I don't know what I'm saying anymore.

I dunno if I'm really writing to anyone in particular. Just over the past few weeks, some people have decided they're untouchable and everything they think and say is the only thing to think or say and it's starting to get on my nerves.

Anyway.

I'm tired and I don't feel well and I don't want to go to school tomorrow and I don't want the play to be on Friday and I don't want to go to work ever again and I don't want a lot of things right now.

First things first. I think I'm quitting my job. For awhile, I didn't want to, I sort of felt this sense of obligation to keep it until I graduated and make some extra money for college. But now, I just can't take it anymore. The work is tedious. I get picked on by my boss for stupid things. She picks the smallest girls there to carry the heaviest things, and she plays favorites which I can not stand. I never have time to myself, I get on day a week and that day is usually spent with rehearsal or visiting my grandfather. And you know, I'd like to have more time to visit him. He's...well, he's not doing so fantastic. Everyone knows this by now. I don't know if he's getting better. I don't know anything. But he tells me he wish he could see me more. And I'm always busy with work and I hate that. I don't want to miss out on my time with him because I'm selling some goddamn middle school brat some skittles.

And I want to see my friends. I never see my friends outside of school. I never get time to just sleep in and hang around or go to a movie or just sit and read a book or anything. It's always rush home, rush to work, rush home, go to bed. I hate it. This is my senior year and I want to enjoy it. And to start off...I have to quit my job.

Now lets see if I'm brave enough to do it.

So I got a very angry e-mail from Diane saying that my link to Text Twist ended up eating her brain. Poor brain. I'm sorry for your loss, Diane. Please forgive me.

Mr. May continues to be EXTRODINARILY strange. He just now realized that there are two female roles in Forum. He looked at the character list and said, "Huh. This show's a little guy heavy, isn't it?" and when I complained about the lack of female roles and how it sucks if it's your last year he said, "Hey, you could always do what my brother did and flunk English."

Hmm.....

I saw homecoming pictures. Did I really look like I was on crack ALL night?

I missed the shooting stars. ::cries::

Mike used my straw at lunch. He's SOOOO getting my cold. Poor boy.

Scary college lady thinks I'm her buddy. I thought I would die laughing, but I managed to keep a straight face.

And I really want to quit my job, as I hate my boss and it makes me miserable.

Time to find my costume stuff.

Oh yes, who wants to see Harry Potter with me?

Why does this guy:



randomly show up in the second little box on the right of my page? He frightens me.

Oh yes, I forgot, my computer's kinda busted. It gives us a message that we need a new hard drive every time we turn it on. Eek! Don't be broken computer! Please!!

Well, it's 10:36 AM and I'm already home from school. Go me. I actually feel like writing today, so this might be kind of long. Or not. Whatever.

To start off, I feel very very crappy. Stupid cold. I actually took cold medicine last night which helped a little and I got at least a few hours of good sleep. Of course, I can't take dimetapp (sp?) during the day 'cause it makes you very sleepy as it's actually a kids medicine and as everyone knows, sick kids are much more fun when they're asleep. So I started off school medicine free. Ick.

Was late to orchestra and got locked out (this was after Philippe laughed at my skirt...I don't care what you say, Philippe, you were laughing at my skirt, I know you were). That kinda sucked. Then when I finally got inside I found out that the orchestra will be playing with chamber choir on "And the Glory" or whatever it's called. Mr. May called me out for rolling my eyes when he announced this. Hehe. Oops. I just know that I'm either gonna end up having to sing this in orchestra because Mr. May likes to humiliate people or play my violin in chorus because Dr. Imhoff would probably think it'd be really cool or something. That kinda stuff always happens, it's very annoying.

Anyway, after that was chorus where I felt like I was about to pass out from not being able to breathe too well and trying to sing and then coughing every five seconds. Yay germs. Ha. And here's the part where I have to say that Mike and Philippe are two of my favorite people in the whole world because they try to make me laugh when I feel like shit (and usually succeed). And because they sat with me at the end of choir. I feel a little left out in choir now because the person next to me and I have some um...hmm...issues..and don't want to sit next to each other, therefore there is a space between us big enough to fit two more chairs in between. And since I'm at the end, that usually means I'm off by myself, pretty much completely seperated from everyone else. Not so much fun. So Philippe and Mike sat with me during the announcements and that cheered me up.

After announcements I begged for a pass to the nurse 'cause I couldn't take being in school anymore, I just felt too sick. I got the meaner of the two nurses. I hate how they ask you, "Well were you sick at home this morning? Did your parents know this?". They don't realize that parents are dumb sometimes. Like how my mother KNOWS I'm sick, and still sends me off to school because she's slightly sadistic and afraid I'll have to many absences. Just because my parents are aware that I don't feel well and sent me to school anyway doesn't mean that I'm faking it and there's nothing wrong with me. It's annoying how school nurses always assume that you're faking it. Although being a person who used to fake sick a lot, it's probably partially my fault and I should shut up. I wouldn't be surprised if the nurses had some kind of file on me as one of those kids who ends up in the nurses office WAY too much at nearly the same time every time because they're trying to get out of a specific class ::coughjournalismcough::.

Anyway.

My mom actually let me come home, amazingly enough. Although it was under the condition that I work on college applications and take all sorts of icky medicine that I hate. Whatever, at least I'm not stuck in gym class feeling miserable. And she actually said I could go to rehearsal tonight, which is incredible because if I stay home sick she never lets me do anything. I think she just realized that it's better for me to come home now while I don't actually have a fever than to make me suffer through school and wear myself down and then get really sick right before the show. That would be horrible.

And now I'm home and wasting my really cute outfit that I was so proud of. Yes, I'm vain, deal with it. Also, I got a lot of hugs today. Mike and Gina (sort of, she was using me as a barrier against the wind during the fire drill since Mike was already taken by both me and Emma, hehe) and Kaity and Anthony all gave me hugs. So if you all get sick now...um...sorry.

I'm listening to Tchiakovsky's version of "Peter and the Wolf". Hehehe. It makes me all nostalgic because we did a little play to that when I was in kindergarten and I was the bird (ironically enough...why do I always end up playing birds? Like being named Robin isn't bad enough).

I think I'll go take my gross medicine now, I've written way too much and nothing's really happened to me today. Somebody talk to me, I'm so very lonely. Well..not really...but someone talk to me anyway.

::quits job::

DaThrillPh (2:15:58 AM): lol
TypicalBrunette (2:16:05 AM): ?
DaThrillPh (2:16:07 AM): "asshole free"
TypicalBrunette (2:16:09 AM): mmhmm
DaThrillPh (2:16:10 AM): lol
TypicalBrunette (2:16:15 AM): what a wonderful world it would be
TypicalBrunette (2:16:30 AM): although it would be much more boring
DaThrillPh (2:16:31 AM): well I'm afraid not robin... you'll ALWAYS have an asshole... otherwise how could you....
TypicalBrunette (2:16:37 AM): mmhmm
DaThrillPh (2:16:38 AM): lol
DaThrillPh (2:17:11 AM): use a toilet paper
TypicalBrunette (2:17:20 AM): oh fuck you
TypicalBrunette (2:17:22 AM): that was horrible!
TypicalBrunette (2:17:23 AM): lol
DaThrillPh (2:17:25 AM): lol
DaThrillPh (2:17:44 AM): you gotta admit... it was punny

Ugh, I'm so sick. And I have to go to work tomorrow. Grrrrr.

Saw Philippe's play, it was very exciting. I get way too excited about seeing my friends in stuff 'cause then I go backstage and I'm jumping up and down going "Where are they?! It was so cool, I want to see them!" and stuff. Anna and Jen and I were all being giggly at knowing someone in the play.

And then I come home and someone's going "Hang out with me" at 2 in the morning. And then telling me I'm no fun because I said no and my parents would be pissed if I tried to sneak out. People are assholes sometimes, it's very obnoxious. I wonder if my life will ever be asshole free. Doubtful.

I have anger issues.

I had rehearsal at 2 this afternoon.

I woke up at 1:15. Oops. But I made it sort of on time. I didn't sleep well at all last night because of my cold. It's gone from "I think I'm getting a cold." to "Fuck, I have a cold." to "AHH! I can't breathe!". No fun.

My drunk teenager scene is going to pretty good, I hope. We basically remembered all of our lines and blocking which is the first step. We wrote cast quotes and I put "Finally I get to do two things I'm good at...drinking and domestic work. Okay, maybe not domestic work." and then a message to Stephane. My mother's going to kill me, she hates that quote and thinks that people will think bad things about me if I write it. Oops. I like it, she's just paranoid, no one's actually going to believe I'm a drunk. I think she just doesn't want my grandparents to see it. Whatever.

Then after rehearsal I went to Roman Gourmet with Josh. The one who still lives in Jersey. We tried to get more people to go, but they're all dumb and couldn't or didn't have money or something. Stupid people. But there was good food and a little girl with a ladybug umbrella that I wanted to steal because I love ladybugs and it was fun.

And now I am very tired and still have to find out if I can get a ride from Anna to Philippe's show. And she's not online and I can't find her phone number. Eek. ::sends mental messages to Anna to either call her or get online:: That'll work, I swear.

It's icky out.

I will be 18 in 4 months and 12 days.

That is a truly scary thought.

I'm tired and have a sore throat.

BUT I GOT NEW SHOES! Lots of beautiful new shoes that made me happy. And after that, I went to Taco Bell and got a chicken quesadea (sp?) which made me very happy also because by then I was starving.

This was followed by play rehearsal. I brought my camera and took hilarious and incriminating pictures. So much fun. The show is in a week. I'm going to go insane. Completely out of my mind. Baaaaahhh!!!! I have to be southern in one scene. I feel absolutely ridiculous, but...oh well. That's acting. Making a total ass out of yourself in front of a room full of people. And somehow I find this fun....

When we were shoe shopping, I went to pick up a box of boots and it dropped and I tried to catch it and bent my fingernail completely backwards in the process. Hurt like hell and I started bleeding right there in the middle of the shoe store. So now my finger kinda hurts while I type, but I'll suffer. It's my middle finger, which I find amusing to no end, despite the pain.

Our new car is SOOOOO pretty. And it's got a CD player. A 6 DISC CHANGING CD PLAYER. It's a shame because my mom will be driving it mostly and she rarely listens to music. I find that very sad.

Oh yes, and Lauren told me that apparently Liz was never my friend or something like that? Whatever. That's kind of annoying, I don't know if I believe it, but whatever. I seem to be finding out who all of my icky friends are at once now. Isn't that great?! Ugh. Not that Liz and I were really friends anymore but....whatever.

I saw Mrs. Tenenbaum this morning about college stuff. She loves me, it's great, she's like, "You should come down here more often and we can sit and talk and then no one would bother me and it'd be fun." I really want to get at least one application out. It'd make me feel a lot better about the whole process if I actually had something out there and done.

Mr. Reyes was my sub for math. He's a great guy when he's not my geometery teacher.

And where is everyone? I wanna talk to people! :-( Come back? Please?

People should leave me comments to make up for it.

And if you people don't go to my show, I swear I will do something EXTREMELY unlady-like. So if you know what's good for you, get your asses down to the black box theater next weekend...

I got home from work at 10:30 tonight. ::passes out:: I'm counting down the days till I can quit...okay, not really, but I definitely will be someday.

Anyway, this is my day.

My dad needs to get his ass out of the house earlier. I have to drop him off at the station and then come home and eat breakfast before going to school, usually. But he takes too damn long and then sits in the car sighing about how he's going to miss his train not even caring that I'll either be late to school or be starving and that it's his damn fault in the first place that he's going to be late....

...so anyway.

On our last bio vocab quiz one of the words was "Plasmadesmada"...or something like that. I didn't know the definition, so I just wrote "plasma" and that was it. I figured it was worth a shot and looked better than just having a blank spot on my paper. So today I got my vocab quiz back...she gave me half credit for writing "plasma". I love Mrs. Hershey.

I just found my Norah Jones CD! Yay!

I need to write a cast bio. Shit. I don't know what to write, and I'm too tired right now. Maybe I'll just write it in study tomorrow.

I'm sleepy.

I'm also lonely. ::sigh::

I guess updating would be good...

I took the annoying string thing out of my hair because it was starting to really hurt. That's my really exciting news of the day.

Oh! And the musical is "A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum"....hmm...all the female parts are whores...fun. ::restrains self from writing long rant about how come there are no girl parts and the same thing she's been yelling about all day::
This is what happened when I told Mike what the show was:
Robin: It's Forum.
Mike:.......Really?!
Robin: Yes
Mike:.......Really?!?!
Robin: Yes!
(this continues for another five minutes until Imhoff makes us go to our seats)
(Later at lunch, we're all sitting around eating pizza)
Mike: (suddenly looks up from pizza) REALLY?!?

Parnassian rehearsal...lots of fun. Although Brent possibly tried to feel me up....ugh. And right in front of everyone, too.

I got switched into my new math class today. They were taking a quiz, which I tried, and found that they were doing stuff I did last year and I remembered some of it. Plus I get to sit in the back. Yippee. Sucks that it's 8th period, though, no more free 8th on Friday for me. I have study 3rd now, it's really stupid. The beginning of my day is Orchestra, Chorus, and Study...honestly, what's the point? Why bother even going into school before 10:45?!

Now I not only need sweatpants and new shoes, I need a dress for the play. Which is in a week and a half. And I don't have my lines memorized. And AHHHHHHH!!!

I'm tired.

I need new shoes. And some sweatpants.

I tried to wear a skirt this morning, but realized I had no winter shoes to wear with a skirt. That was sad.

I need sweatpants for gym 'cause I have to at least pretend to care about ping pong for a little while.

It's raining today. I spent half the day looking very similar to a drowned rat. It was kinda funny. It reminded me of ninth grade when they made us take swimming in gym class and how everyone looked like they'd been through a hurricane by the end of class.

Vague thing that only certain people will understand: I don't like being mad at people. I'm really bad at keeping a gruge, too. So despite what a certain person or persons has said about me, I still kinda want to forgive them even though I know I shouldn't.

Anyway. I have so much to do, it's horrible. Write essay, do old psych stuff (half done), do bio that we had when I was absent and I was never told about (no fair...but hopefully she'll accept it)...blah. I hate marking periods and I hate report cards. And I hate how I can work really hard and still get shitty grades. I'm getting a kinda iffy grade in bio right now, but I'm hoping after handing in what I handed in today and then handing in what I didn't even know we'd done that Mrs. Hershey will take pity on me and help me out. She knows I work hard, and she's a teacher who actually considers that when grading you. Yay for teachers who aren't assholes.

In orchestra I decided I really like playing the violin, despite not exactly being the most talented at it and that my teacher is sometimes a jerk. I just like to play anyway, and that's nice because I don't have that much stuff that I do just for fun anymore. I'm kinda unhappy at the thought that after I graduate my violin will probably be shoved into a closet somewhere for who knows how long until one day I decide I feel like playing, take it out of the closet, try to tune it, become extremely frustrated by trying to tune it, and throw it back in the closet.

Oh well.

I really like how I was the only one in my psych class who actually did any of the work yesterday. And I finished it all in about fifteen minutes. That's the really funny part, I got to do whatever the hell I wanted today when we went to the library for psych while everyone else was scrambling around trying to finish stuff. Ha! Being not a slacker once in awhile is fun.

This entry is completely random.

Time to pick up my dad from the train.

Oh yeah, and apparently my grandmother went to NYU. Someone remind me to put this on my application there.

Again I will express how much fun I have at Parnassian rehearsals. It's really sad that I have so much fun there, it just shows how much I lack a real life.

Got there early because I didn't feel like sitting at home and just hung around for awhile. Much craziness ensued, including but not limited to such things as Miles completely embarassing me by...to put it technically...implying I was involved with someone who I am not currenly involved with. Except he implied this in front of five people, maybe? Obviously, I then beat him with my script. More craziness: Brent, for some reason, decided to pick me up and spin me around very fast until I screamed at him to stop 'cause I was getting just a little nauseous. But it was fun for a little while. It's nice having Brent around because I've known him since elementary school and can say things to him like "Hey, remember back in third grade..?" and have him actually know what I was talking about. I have very few people like that left.

It was also decided during rehearsal that I'm more likely to get into a fist fight with a guy than a cat fight with a girl. Huh.

I'm going backwards here. Before rehearsal, I went to see scary college lady who actually isn't really that scary, just slightly intimidating. She doesn't like to waste words, which is hard for me because I greatly enjoy wasting words. Obviously I do if I say things like "greatly enjoy". She loved my essay, which is funny because it was crap that I wrote half an hour before I was supposed to see her last week and didn't get to. It was about my fourth grade play and how it made me realize I liked acting. What's great is that so far, it's really the only essay that I need. Yay! So far....

School was alright. Mr. May was absent so I sat around with Diane and Ray talking all period. We're all going to be starving artists when we grow up. Diane's going to be a writer, Ray's going to be a musician/composer, and I'm going to be an actress. So basically, we're all going to end up living in cardboard boxes. We decided that we'd all live next to each other and maybe consolidate our boxes so we'd have more space. It was very funny. I hate how I have the cheesiest profession of all three of us. Being an actress doesn't make you seem very cool and artsy, does it?

Chorus was chorus. We actually stopped and went over sections today. About time. I sat there and had no one to talk to the whole time. Oh well. Kaity went to lunch with us! Yay! That was lotsa fun...'cept we accidently ditched Anna. I apologized a hundred times in study, but she didn't seem mad. So that's good, but I still feel bad about it. And Mrs. Petrallia was absent which just about made my day.

And now I'm running out of things to talk about, except to say that this hair thingy is really pissing me off. I think it looks stupid and does nothing but get in my face. That's the last time I let my family members pressure me into doing something to my hair. Maybe I'll leave it in another day or so, but I'm losing patience with it very fast.

And now I'm sleepy. G'night.

Oh yes, did I mention that one of George Harrison's shirts was on display at our hotel?

Hear that, Kaity? George Harrison's shirt.

I will now sit and wait for Kaitlyn to show up at my house and attack me.

Tada, I'm back.

I wish I could have thought of a much cooler way of saying that. But I'm just too tired.

I have been on FOUR PLANES this weekend and was only completely terrified for two of them. Be proud.

I went to the Epcot center in Disneyworld where I took funny pictures and sent them to my friends. Well, only three because that's all it'd let me send to.

My family nearly drove me completely out of my mind. More on that later.

I got part of my hair wrapped and I'm in between thinking it looks cool and thinking it looks horrifically stupid. I think I spelled horrifically wrong.

The Hard Rock Hotel is THE GREATEST HOTEL EVER.

I haven't had a good nights sleep since I left because I had to share a room with my parents, who both snore, and because they gave us feather pillows which I'm allergic to.

I heard a jazz version of some Nirvana song. Very weird.

My uncle's driving scares the living shit out of me. Maniac.

I'm so tired I can only write in list form. I'll write something more interesting later. Maybe.

:::collapses into exhausted heap:::

Lalala, I don't want to go to rehearsal, lalala.

Saying "lalala" before and after things you don't like makes them seem more up beat.

Wish I could do something with my friends tonight...or at all this weekend.

:::sigh:::

I have to go to Florida on Thursday. On a plane.

I'm terrified. I don't want to go in the first place, I'll be gone all weekend and I really just wanted to get some sleep and hang out with my friends but....

On a plane? I have never ever liked planes. And now....well, my fear of them has not gotten any better in the past year, I'll leave it at that.

So freakin' scared.

So to go along with that insansely melodramatic entry, I got a really bad stomach ache all of last night and stayed home today.

More ow.

Emotions of the day:

Longing
Laziness
Anger
Anger
Anger
Anger
More anger
Pain
Intense pain
Worn out, but still in pain.

Ow.

I have never NOT wanted to go to work more.

Okay, maybe I have, but I REALLY don't want to go today. And I really want a snow day tomorrow. It's November. It could happen. I'd settle for the power going out in the school and they'd have to send us all home. Or better yet, just not have us come in at all. That would be very nice.

Oh well. It's only a three day week.

And I probably shouldn't go to bed at two in the morning when I have to get up the next day. Bad Robin, bad.

This is my new car

Except if I know my father, it's red and not silver...

Okay, it's not my car, but I will probably be the one driving it. My parents went and picked out a new car today since the evil evil insurance company decided that my fender bender should be considered a total loss. Assholes. Gimme a hammer and I probably could have knocked most of the parts back into place.

Oh well. Now we get a new car. :::coughformetobreakcough:::

I got 11 and a half hours of sleep last night and I'm still kinda sleepy. Maybe I'm anemic.

How many times do I say "fuck" per post?

Know what sucks? When people think of you as a friend, but not a good enough friend to invite you to do stuff with. And I'm not just talking about random friends that you just talk to in school, I'm talking about people who you've gone to movies with and hung out with and everything.

I'm so glad this week is over. What hell it's been.

My math is being switched to 8th period. Fuck. No more free 8th on Friday's for me. I guess there's advantages to having a 3rd period study...but...no leaving school early! Damnit.

I wish I had more to say.

I haven't had an actual entry since last Friday. Oops.

This week has been insane.

Monday: Oh hell, I can't even remember Monday by now. Oh yes, Bio test. Evil evil bio test.

Tuesday: Appointment with college counseler which I cancelled 'cause I just could not deal. I was supposed to study for my math test and do my English presentation before going to work. Instead, I took a nap. I blame it on the cold that I really think I'm getting.

Wednesday: Fail math test and make it blatantly obvious to Mrs. Ayres that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Make up English presentation (including reading the chapter that I'm presenting on for the first time) during study. By the way, everyone liked it. Or not liked it, 'cause who really likes a presentation on The Grapes of Wrath, but I did well. Phew. At least my English nerd abilities are still intact despite my lack of math or bio skills.

Today/Thursday: Horrible. Horrible. Day. Couldn't get myself out of bed this morning and my mother had to drive my dad to the train. I ended up being about a minute late to orchestra so Mr. May locked me out with about four or five other people. In math Mrs. Ayres said she thought I should be moved down to level 3, which I completely agreed with and was actually thinking about suggesting myself. But it's more annoying when a teacher suggests it for you. I spent $8.50 on lunch today. WTF?! I don't care if people don't want pizza or bagels anymore, I am not spending another goddamn $8.50 on lunch. Health was the only interesting part of the day because of the funny presentation from the Straight Talk people. The guy acted like he should be on those drunk driver informational video's that they make you watch in Driver's Ed.

And work was evil. So evil I refuse to talk about it.

I like venting. Makes me feel SO much better.