Reasons why Halloween in Athens SUCKS.

Okay, so Halloween at OU is like...next to some really important holiday in terms of holiday importance...people talk about it ALL YEAR ROUND. They make T-shirts about it. People come from all over the state to celebrate here. It's such a big thing that they have to change the locks on the doors for Halloween and make us all wear little bracelet things all weekend to keep random drunken tourists from wandering into the dorms and attacking the random drunk students.

So tonight some people on my floor were all dressed up. This guy Matt as a devil, Ben as an angel, Suzy as some freaky badass slutty chick, and Mark as the guy from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. So I put my costume on (also an angel...it was pretty funny 'cause Matt and Suzy were matching and Ben and I were matching and we were all walking around with the guy who's totally wasted all the time) and went out with them to find fun things to do.

Well, we get into town and there is NO ONE and I do mean NO ONE else in costume. We were actually scoffed at by some people who said to us "What are you doing? No, you're supposed to dress up TOMORROW."

What the fuck, man?! No, you're supposed to dress up ON HALLOWEEN!!! Not November 1st! It's not even the same damn month! November is for turkeys and Thanksgiving goodness, not dressing up.

So I'm already disappointed in the lameness that is OU at Halloween. I mean, this is supposed to be the schools trademark. But in actuallity, Halloween is just like any other night of the year around here...drink until you pass out, throw up, end up in someone else's bed, or all of the above.

Alright, then there's the fact that I'm in an angel costume. If I may say, I make a kinda hot angel. The dress is kinda short and fits me well and the sleeves are long and flowy with fake fur around the arms and fake fur around the neck. Plus I have all this sparkly make up on and stuff. So I'm lookin' kinda hot. In the two or so hours that I was out, here are the comments I got:

"God save your soul"

"Can you take me to heaven with you?" - This guy and his buddies continued laughing for like 5 minutes as they walked away. That's just so sad. As I was walking away I thought of some good things to say back, but I was already too far away. Either "Take yourself." which is only okay..I could elaborate on it, but I won't here...or "Do you know why angels have wings? To fly away from dumbass's like you."

A couple of catcalls...

A whistle followed by a guy saying to his friends, "Yo, go talk to her! Go talk to her!!" Sucks for them I was halfway down the block by that point....

And a couple of guys yelling from the catwalk above me, "You're an angel!!! You're an angel!!!" - I think they were pretty drunk already since they couldn't figure anything else out.

I'm highly disappointed that no one used my FAVORITE line EVER.

"Did it hurt?" "Did what hurt? "When you fell from heaven, 'cause baby you're an angel!"

Highly disappointing. OU, I dub you lamest Halloween school EVER.

P.S. There is no escape. I write on my door "Robin doesn't feel well, please let her rest. Also, I don't know where Erin is. Happy Halloween!" but then at almost 2:30 in the morning get a call asking me if I know where the roommate is. Sigh.

My hands are randomly chapped. But they don't look chapped. They just hurt. Booo.

This guy keeps calling for my roommate when she's not here and this time when he called and went "Erin?" and I went "No", he went, "Of course...::sigh::". Jackass. I told him not to sound so disappointed. Then he called and my roommate picked up and he thought she was me so he went "Robin?" and she went "Hang on" and he was like "No!! Wait!! Don't make me talk to that bitch again!!". But not really. But yeah, what a dickhead.

He's also way too blonde. Ew.

I can't wait to go hooooome!!!! My aunt and uncle are now NOT coming to visit me. Neither are my parents. Bah.

My mom said my dad might come up some weekend next quarter. Eesh. I don't want just my dad to come up, that'll be weird. Because it's my dad. I love him, but he's all quiet and I can't giggle with him about stupid OU people like I can with my mom, 'cause he just gets nervous when I try to.

I bought new milk. No longer rancid. Also no longer 1%. I hate 1%. My roommate's not allowed to buy milk anymore. Haha, I will just make her suffer through my watery skim milk. Wahaha. This is what happens when you grow up with parents who are constantly dieting. Now I can't stand the taste of any kind of milk besides skim or chocolate.

Time to go watch I love the 80's. It's 89. I might actually remember some of this stuff!

Make it so I don't have to go to English. Now, bitch!

Also, make it so the milk in my fridge isn't rancid so I can have my apple jacks.

Ew, school.

01. Name: Robin

02. Last words you said: I believe it was..."That's such bullshit"..or maybe it was "Hi"

03. Last song you sang: Hmm...I started singing along with "Circle of Life" when that crap video for it came on the Disney Channel last night...I could so do that....if I was brave enough...shush....

04. Last person you hugged: Hmm...this kid Matt hugged me a little while ago 'cause I was getting frustrated with him about the fact that I am constantly expected to know the where-abouts of my roommate at any given moment.

05. Last thing you laughed at: Um...I don't really remember...hmm...that's no good...maybe something online...or something on TV...or probably something someone said from one of my classes....tra la la...

06. Last time you said "I love you": When was the last time I talked to Matt?

07. Last time you cried: Umm...Sunday night, I believe? Only a very little, a few tears and then I stopped. I didn't want to cry. I cry too much here.

08. Who is in your cd player: Travis, I think.

09. What color socks are you wearing: I'm not wearing any ::wiggles eyebrows seductively::

10. What's under your bed?: My clothes. But not in the usual "I'm a slob" way, but in the "That's where the college put my dresser drawers and made the bed really really high" way. And probably some random tissues and maybe an empty water bottle or two, and maybe some random papers or something.

11. What time did you wake up today: I'm not sure. Later than I should have. Stupid insomnia.

12. Current taste: Well, I just had some pasta with sauce and beef and cheese, which was meh (not enough pasta!) followed by a ghetto peppermint patty thing and now I just drank some plain ice tea....yummy.

13. Current hair: Straight and clean (haha, for once...I'm not THAT gross, I swear...but I definitely am too lazy to shower as often as I did at home...shut up, I'm not nasty, I swear I don't smell...shush....)

14. Current clothes: Tan cords, blue long sleeved shirt over blue tank top.

15. Current annoyance: Latin. And Ohio in general. Oooh, I found another Jersey person. South Jersey, but still, we were talking about Wawa's (we don't have them where I live, but at least I know what they are, as opposed to Ohio people who don't know what the hell a Wawa is.) and how much we miss Jersey. Yay!

16. Current longing: To be at home with my family and my cat and Matt and Mari and Linda and Philippe and Mike and Miles and everyone to be happy and having fun.

17. Current desktop picture: Pom-Pom!!!

18. Current worry: Bad grades, going home and finding out that everyone's all different and we can't get along anymore....

19. Current hate: Latin. Ohio. Well, hate's strong...maybe just "dislike".

20. Story behind your blogger username: Well...screen name...plus 2002 'cause that's when my blog started fucking up and I had to change the url to get it to work properly and adding 2002 was just simple and obvious.

21. Current favorite article of clothing: Either my pretty red sweater or the pants Matt got me with the kitties (so cute and comfy!) or my pretty new denim jacket.

22. Favorite physical feature of humans you're attracted to: Eyes and hair. Matt has pretty hair.

23. Last CD that you bought: Travis CD's 'cause I lost all of mine and there was a new one out.

24. Favorite place to be: With the people I love.

25. Least favorite place: Ohio. Okay, there are worse places, but for now, we're saying Ohio.

26. Current lip balm: Burt's Bees. So wonderful.

27. If you could play an instrument, what would it be: I play violin, which is fun. Cello might be fun, as well as guitar, or piano. I can play a little piano 'cause I took three years of lessons and I still know all the notes and stuff, I'm just no good at it now.

28. Favorite color: Blue or red. I have a red shoe fetish, which is possibly from the Wizard of Oz?

29. Do you believe in an afterlife?: I'd like to.

31. Current frequent word/saying: Mmm..I dunno....

32. Favorite book: I have lots.

33. Favorite season: All of them at different times.

34. Favorite scent: The smell of a fire, rain, spring, fall, yummy things cooking....lots of stuff.

35. Favorite day: Saturday. Wednesday's are also good 'cause I only have two classes and one's two building's away and one's online.

36. Where do you want to go: New Jersey or Virginia.

37. What is your career going to be like: I hope successful and fun?

38. How many kids do you want to have: I have not a clue. I'll figure that out when I'm ready to.

39. What is your dream car: The pretty one I saw on Rt. 10 that time.

40. Name some products you use: Huh? Like beauty wise? I don't usually, except stuff to clean myself with.

41. A random lyric: "Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down..."

42. Identify some things surrounding your computer: Ugh, it's a mess. Tissues, water container, peanut butter, cell phone, desk stuff, CD player, books, pic from prom, silly blue cow with obscene utters, mirror, mezzuzah, Batman pic Philippe made, Kitty card my mom sent, We Can Do It! candy wrapper, my schedule....It's a big mess. Ick.

Apparently the bagels were my fathers idea....so he's cool, too. :-D

My mom's about the coolest person ever...

I asked her to send me my hat and maybe a measuring cup or two since we don't have any and making macaroni without them sucks...My mother sent me:

My hat
A full set of measuring cups
A pretty shirt with lots of pretty colors

And:

BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!

I love my mother with all my heart and soul. :-D

And now for Linda::

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. Slut Numero Uno. Hehe.
2. Am I loveable? Of course, darling. How do you think you got to be Slut #1 ;-P
3. How long have you known me? Since last year in DeVita's class. Oh the craziness that went on in that class.
4. When and how did we first meet? I dunno, I think I like jumped into one of your and Daisy's conversations in class or something. I've been known to do that.
5. What was your first impression? She has curly hair. And talks fast. Seems nice. :-)
6. Do you still think that way about me now? Hmm..you still have curly hair, you still talk fast, and you're still nice..so yes :-).
7. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why? Heath crunch or whatever that stuff is called. Crunchy and sweet with the pieces that are yummy and get stuck in your teeth. But that's good. Shhhh.
8. Do you think I'll get married? In Vegas. But you better call me up so I can fly in and be a bridesmaid.
9. What makes me happy? Dancing, your friends, finding good clothes at Guess, talking about your adventures in sluttiness, kissing girls...I mean...boys..and girls...hehehehe....
10. What makes me sad? Bitchy people who I won't name, but you know who I'm talking about, people you care about being asswipes to you, etc...
11. What song (if any) reminds you of me? Something pop but good pop with a good beat that you can dance to.
12. If you could give me anything what would it be? Whatever would make you not overthink things so that they drive you crazy. Or maybe a lifetime discount card to Guess. Or something really fun, don't know what, but it'd have to be fun and silly.
13. Do you consider me a good friend? One of the best.
14. When's the last time you saw me? Weekend of Rosh Hashanah. Too long ago, come here and be my friend.
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? I don't think so? I think I tell you everything...haha, even when you don't care or don't want to know...hehehe...
16. Would you make a move on me? You were my first girl-on-girl hook up, hot stuff.
17. Describe me in one word. Energy!
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same? Stronger :-D Okay, a lot of the time when I do the :-D I actually make the real face...I'm a freak..hehe
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? I DO talk to you about anything and you do listen 'cause I MAKE YOU BITCH!!! Wahahaha...
20. Do I cross your mind at least 2 times a day? Of COURSE!

Mari won't leave me alone about filling this out for her. So here you go, Mari.


1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. Hehe. Ball. No, just kidding, I <3 you, please don't call me mean names. How about Slut #3?
2. Am I loveable? Of course!
3. How long have you known me? Sorta since I was in 8th grade, but well since homecoming last year-ish...hey, you were supposed to be my little hand slappy partner in Funny Girl but you DITCHED ME for ALEA. You suck, man. But not really. I love you! You watched my baby in 8th grade, so it's all cool...
4. When and how did we first meet? You watched my (electronic health class) baby for me while we were in The Music Man at MMS. And then homecoming last year, pretty much.
5. What was your first impression? Pretty dress. It's sparkly.
6. Do you still think that way about me now? Well, you're not wearing the sparkly dress anymore!
7. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why? Rum raisin. I've never even HAD Rum raisin so I don't know why I said that, but it just kinda came to me. Or maybe chunky monkey when you're feeling silly. Hehe.
8. Do you think I'll get married? Indeed I do. But you're still having my babies so we can get that crazy 1/4 Chinese 3/4 Jew thing goin' on....
9. What makes me happy? Music, friends, cheese fries (that makes EVERYONE happy), your fellow sluts (I hope!), underwear especially...I could go on, but I'm lazy...
10. What makes me sad? Mean people who hurt your feelings.
11. What song (if any) reminds you of me? Dunno.
12. If you could give me anything what would it be? Peace of mind.
13. Do you consider me a good friend? Of course! One of the best!
14. When's the last time you saw me? Weekend of Rosh Hashanah...too long ago! Fix it!
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? Um, I don't think so?
16. Would you make a move on me? Oh honey, it's been DONE.
17. Describe me in one word. Mari. :-D
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same? Stronger!!
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? I think so...I talked to you about the empathy thing, didn't I? And that was a total spazzy-nerd moment...hehe...
20. Do I cross your mind at least 2 times a day? Of course, dear.

So, I stayed up late having a very pleasant conversation with Josh and now I can't sleep.

The dining hall opened about two minutes ago and it's not even light out yet. I have a bit of an urge to go see if they have scrambled eggs (mmm....I <3 scrambled eggs), except, not hungry in the slightest. Ah well. Maybe tomorrow. I'd definitely go in my pajamas and slippers, too.

I'll probably get really sleepy in about an hour or so....I think I threw off my sleep schedule last week and am having trouble fixing it...

Meanwhile I had a pretty awesome dream yesterday......superheros with tragic pasts and everything...pretty cool....

I just went downstairs to get a bottle of water (mmm cold watery goodness) and someone has stuck a very cute little scarecrow cut out that they colored in onto my door. Someone put colored in Halloween decorations on everyone's doors in the middle of the night...that's so adorable. It made me smile. I think it was some girls I saw all sitting on the floor with pens and notebooks before. That's so sweet, I feel like thanking them. I also feel like coloring.

Mmmm..I kinda miss when I was little when I'd spend all day doing fun little games and arts and crafts projects and amuse myself all day, then sleep all night and wake up early and watch cartoons. Actually, I'd end up waking my dad up and make him talk to me for awhile, THEN watch cartoons. Anyway. It was fun. I miss it. And we had fun snacks. Just like little boring things, like apple slices or crackers with peanut butter...aw, I want some. I wanna go home and have apple slices and crackers with peanut butter.

Sigh.

Kaity, I'm sorry. Please forgive me for being a stupid bitch. I love you.

Same to Linda. I'm sorry I snapped at you and was being a dumbass drama queen. That was stupid.

I'm being stupid.

I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart.

I think my BC pills are making me way to emotional or something. But that's no excuse. I'm so very sorry.

I'm a mess again.

And paranoid and sad and scared and insulted when I shouldn't be and lonely so so lonely.

Somebody fix me.

Stole this from Molly. Do it 'cause I'm bored and stuff....

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. Do you consider me a good friend?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Would you make a move on me?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Do I cross your mind at least 2 times a day?

My neighbor really likes country music. And really likes to play it loudly with the door open. And sing along.

Sigh.

I took this from Molly's booooyffrriiieenndd...hehe...must tease....



YOU ARE ETHER!

Well, well... you are the mysterious Fifth Element!
The Fifth Element, Ether, is used or conjured
in many ancient religions or magics, but is not
something found on this plane. Those that have
been able to make the ascension to the Ether
are truly evolved people, possessed with
heightened senses of intelligence, perception,
and empathy that others simply don't have.
Everyday possessions aren't of much interest -
you are beyond that. You tend to gravitate to
open spaces, changing environments, and won't
saddle yourself with one style or decision.
Indeed, just one type of career isn't of
interest to you either, as your need to
constantly continue evolving and growing won't
allow you to settle down. Sadly, this need may
also impact your social life as well. You tend
to have few friends as not many people
understand you, and fewer relationships because
you simply outgrow them.

Don't be discouraged by this, though. You are truly
one of the unique, for very few people have
been able to achieve this type of
enlightenment. Be proud and use your knowledge
and experiences to teach and help others as
much as you can. Good luck and congratulations!

Now that you have an idea of your strengths and
weaknesses, why don't you put them to the test?
If you follow my lead I can take you to a game
world where you can explore different sides of
yourself and taste real power. Just follow my
lead, enter a name...

...and all
the world can be yours.


Which of the 5 Prime Elements are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

FUCK YOU, OU

So not only is this town full of drunks and the school has barely any classes I want to take and I'm practically starving because the food is disgusting BUT this FUCKING school is completely disorganized and lord knows if that means that I'm screwed over or what.

When I applied, I was in the school of Fine Arts. When I came to pre-college (or orientation, whatever you want to call it) to set up my schedule and everything, I switched to the school of Arts and Sciences. I filled out forms. I did all that shit and was told I was done.

So now I try and find out who my advisor is and the woman says "Oh, you've contacted the wrong school. You're in Fine Arts. It's too late to switch for this quarter, sorry. Come fill out forms."

FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID FUCKING SCHOOL I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU YOU'RE A STUPID PIECE OF SHIT FULL OF ALCOHOLIC TEENAGERS YOU FUCKING ASSWIPE BITCH STUPID SCHOOL I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::screams::

Get me the FUCK out of here!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear Jesus God. Why is Mmmbop stuck in my head?!?!?!?!?

::!!!!!!::

I was asleep by a little after 2 last night. Yay! Mmm...sleep is good stuff...

But why must I go to Latin now?! I hate Latin. Boo. I used to kinda like it. But now I hate it. Because it's boring. And I suck at it. And I have to go get my really bad test grade. Blah.

Can't I just go to English again and get more good grades? 'Cause that'd be awesome.

Speaking of English, I get to watch "Alien" in there today. Yummy exploding fun.

But not really yummy. Ew.

I had cookies for breakfast. That's just not right.

But like I said, sleep is an awesome thing. And being able to sleep at night is a more awesome thing. And I slept so well that I woke up thinking I was at home and I think I woke up at some point and thought I was still sleeping. Or maybe I was sleeping and thought I was awake? I'm not really sure. But I was very surprised to wake up and see my roommate.

Plus she had this really loud man-sized sneeze this morning that woke me up and made me go "What was that?!?"...she said it was just a normal sneeze, but should we believe her? I swear it sounded like a man being attacked by a chicken or some other small, fiesty animal.

I don't want to go to Latin!!!!! Somebody go for me :-(

PS I had a dream that I was in a play with Matt and Miles and for some reason Whoopi Goldberg was there as a director and the play was this strange thing with a big steering wheel and weird dancing and random singing in front of the stage. And then I was talking to Philippe on the phone and he had turned into a smoker and I got mad at him and refused to talk to him. And then everyone was making fun of me and Matt going out, but I didn't care.

Weird. Very weird.

Philippe don't become a smoker. I'll cry.

Speaking of crying...time for Latin....blah....

P.P.S. Linda may be a funny drunk, but Matt is like ten-hundred times funnier. No offense Linda, but seriously, you should have heard some of the stuff this boy was saying.

Holy Moses. I forgot Diane's birthday!!!! I'M SORRY DIANE!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!!

HAPPY (really late) BIRTHDAY, DIANE!!! I <3 YOU MY P-SYCHIC FRIEND!!!

Mmm....I think I need sleep. Good night.

P.S. I had to edit this to put a comma in. And then to change some colors. I've been way too influenced by my uncle. Mmk, g'night now, sleepy time.

My English teacher wrote nice things to me and gave me a 100 on my paper and now everything is good again. At least for the moment.

I'm fine, don't worry about me, I'm just having a bad week.

But yay for good grades and teachers who like me. Whoooo.

I can't sleep. Again. My mind won't stop racing. And making me think unhappy very sad things that make me want to cry.

And I feel even worse because I feel weak and whiny and pathetic and stupid and I don't know what to do.

And I know what I'm afraid of, but I'm scared to talk about it, but I want to, but what if people think I'm dumb and wrong and insulting and whiny and stupid and need to get a life and stop being so pathetic and whiny all the time and....

:-(

Somebody fix it. Please?

Ze girls...kinda bad quality, but the best I could do...sorry....

Nothing to fear....?

::loses mind::

You ever have one of those days where you question everything you believe about yourself and think that maybe, just maybe, you're wrong all the time.....

Yeah. It's been that kinda week.

ATTENTION! To all readers of the blog "Diary of a TypicalBrunette", we ask that you pay attention to the following emergency announcement:

Hello all. I'd like to warn you of an imposter Robin who does rather stupid things, such as calling certain people in the middle of the night making irrational demands and acting rather like a douche-bag. That's right, a douche-bag.

Should you be approached by this imposter, please back away slowly and alert the proper authorities.

We hope to capture this imposter as soon as possible. When we do, be assured that she will be restrained and forced to watch episode after episode of Charmed and the West Wing until she is sedated enough to be transfered to the proper mental facilities.

We thank you for your time. Please continue your regular blogging.

So now that I think about it, it's probably good for me.

I'm broadening my horizons...sort of.

I guess you can broaden your horizons without going to someplace really cool. I made a decision to go far away even though I was scared. And go someplace where I don't know anyone. And yeah, it kinda sucks, I'm learning that now, but it's good.

I could have stayed in Jersey, I could have somehow miraculously gone straight to Virginia...but probably someday along the line I would have regretted never going someplace by myself and learning to be a grown up. I would have regretted never working without a net.

So yeah, it's probably good for me. Even if it kinda sucks.

It's not that I'm totally miserable here. It's just that I'm....bored....and frustrated. I like some of the people here, and the surroundings are actually quite beautiful...but...I dunno...it just doesn't quite fit. Like...a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here. But oh well. I don't live here.

And now I remember when I first moved to Jersey and it took me YEARS till I felt like I truly belonged there. Years after I moved I remember writing in one of my little journals how New Jersey wasn't really my home, but my home was my old apartment back in New York, but I couldn't go back there, so I felt very lost and without a place.

But that's not really what I feel like now. I can still go back home. So that's good. And if I couldn't, it'd be easier now. I can go anywhere I want and make it my home.

I just don't really want to make this my home.

But at least I know. At least I'm not going to lie in bed at night years from now going, "I've never been on my own".

So now I know I can.

But...it's getting kind of old now. I'm about ready to go home.

Where the hell did I put my Ruby Slippers?

Mmm...well...I'm fuckin' bored.

This would be a normal Friday night for me. Although I have yet to end up crying on the phone with my boyfriend yet...so actually, it's not a normal Friday night. I guess this would be considered a good Friday night.

Sigh.

So far, I've sat in front of the computer, played with the animation program Linda told me about, texted Matt like a clingy girlfriend, been jealous of everyone else who has stuff to do, watched really bad TV, tried to sleep even.....

....Is it time to go home yet?

I'd go out, but going out disgusts me. Every time I go out on the weekend I am stepped on, hit on, groped by, yelled at, or fallen onto by at least three different drunk people. Two weeks ago I went dancing and that was kinda fun, except these drunk horny people were making out with each other and kept falling on me. They wouldn't go away until I literally shoved the guy. How sad is it when two drunk people fall on you at once?

Yeah. So. Can't I please go home? Couldn't I just go all Harry Potter and send myself anyplace else but here. Like New Jersey or Virginia.

There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home.....

I didn't get to sleep until 6 in the morning. As I was falling asleep I heard someone's alarm go off.

Sigh.

But at least now I'm all caught up.

For the moment.

There are these commercials here for this group that annoy the hell out of me. They get all these petitions signed and then go to MTV in New York all excited and go "Hi, we're from Ohio, we have 8000 petition from kids in Ohio telling you to stop smoking on TV" blah blah blah. Yeah. 'Cause MTV listens to 8000 kids from Ohio. That's not the only problem I have with it. So, how often is there really smoking on MTV? I don't really think it's in the video's all THAT much. If you want to keep people from smoking in videos, okay, I get that, that's not too much to ask. But then there's The Real World and Road Rules and all that crap which are REALITY shows. I mean, they may very LOOSELY be reality shows, but still. You can't just get the people on them to stop smoking, that's not realistic, and you can't just NOT cast smokers, 'cause that's not fair.

Plus, I think the commercials are really annoying. They sound like these kids were bored and needed to do an extra credit project for school and went "Yeah, lets just do the smoking thing again. And we'll go after MTV, 'cause they're popular and stuff and it makes us look cool and rebelious.". And there's this really obnoxious kid going "We got our logo on TV and all these kids all across Ohio saw it!" Blah blah blah. You're fucking obnoxious, go smoke some weed and chill out.

And they're like "Oh, wow! We're outside MTV studios! Yipee!" Pfft. Yeah, the outside of MTV studios looks exactly like every other building in New York, but with more ugly billboards. It's not something to get THAT excited about.

And you can't just have a petition saying "Stop smoking". That's dumb and pointless and obnoxious and the argument could be made that you're trying to deprive someone of their right to smoke or something. Or whatever. It's just freakin' annoying.

So yes. I think maybe I'm just slightly annoyed at the fact that I'm still in OHIO. And these commercials just throw in my face how much I am greatly bothered by OHIO.

I avoid writing negative things about Ohio in here in case any of my OU friends or acquantinces should see it. Look, I've got no real problem with most of the people in Ohio. There's some very very cool people here. It's just NOT the place for me. I'm an east coast girl, I don't think I really like this landlocked thing.

And the thinking of New York as a magical magical land is really starting to get to me. It's not a magical magical land. I've heard people here talk about how they want to live in trendy apartments in New York with this here and this here and they probably think it's all like on Friends. Yeah. People, you want an apartment in New York? Do me a favor and step inside your closet. Yeah, THAT'S your apartment in New York. Minus the cockroaches. Have fun with that.

Somebody. Please. Get me near a goddamn Starbucks again. I'm begging you.

Note: This gets kinda nostalgic....so just watch out, please....

I just got a random craving for some fritos. Somebody get me some fritos. Mmm....fritos.

Anyway, I should go to sleep. I was reading old posts. I miss random high school fun without drama. Alright. There was always drama. But usually it was just like outside drama that sort of ended up involving us somehow.

I read about a snow day and it made me miss it.

Life is changing. Unfortunetely I guess that means lots of other stuff has to change, too.

Change is good, I guess. For the most part. Eventually. Sometimes, I think, what seems bad is just something good that is taking a long time to happen.

My life has changed so much over the past year. Last October I was a senior in high school trying to figure out where I wanted to end up this year. I barely knew Linda, Philippe and I were just becoming good friends again, I had spoken to Mari all of three times, Mike was someone I'd hang out with at parties that neither of us wanted to be at, Miles intimidated the hell out of me half the time, and Matt Baer was just this name I heard a lot throughout the school but I had no idea who he was.

I think we started to come together at homecoming. Out of sheer luck or fate or chance or whatever you may call it, I ended up going with Matt who I had only known for two days. Philippe and Daisy were there, as well as Miles and Mari. I actually talked to Mari like we were old friends that night, I think probably because Mari, Daisy, and I all did the girl thing and went to the bathroom to check our hair together and for some reason it's a very bonding experience.

Then there was that snow day in December where Mike, Philippe, Mari, Matt and I ended up at Miles' house playing silent football and the Haha game. I have this picture of us all lying on each others stomachs. I really love that picture, it makes me smile 'cause we're all together and all laughing our asses off. After that, I think, we were pretty much a group. I don't know why, but it just worked. We were all either friends with each other or dating each other or having crushes on each other and it just worked out perfectly for us all to be together a bunch.

At some point Linda started going to lunch with us, and then hanging out with us after school, and then it was just unacceptable to go anywhere without calling her and begging her to go with us.

So then we had our ever-growing group of seniors and our unofficial senior, Mari. And I really loved it. No matter what happened, I had someone to turn to. No matter how many times I embarassed myself in front of Miles, he never threw it in my face and would often make me feel ten times better about by saying something plain and simple. Philippe counseled me through rough parts of my love life and is always there to be a sweet romantic about things. Mike is about ten times more insightful than anyone ever really gives him credit for, and he's always willing to give a hug or sing the Hannukah song for you when everyone else is singing Christmas carols. Mari and Linda ended up being like my sisters, we shared lots of secrets and things didn't seem so bad when I had my two slut buddies to go talk to. I've never really had a friendship with girls where I could be that open. Mari was there to keep me from making a total fool of myself in most social situations. Linda will talk to you anytime, anyplace, about nearly anything and the conversation is guarenteed to be interesting and enjoyable. And Matt...well, I can't say that Matt is the same to me as he is to everyone else. But he's always there for someone in need of advice or comfort, day or night, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable a situation might be.

And to round out our little group, towards the end of senior year we got Natalie, through Mike. Sorry to say, I never really got to know Natalie too well, with college and all. She's cool, though, and makes Mike happy, so I'm very glad to know her.

Anyway. I just miss having my little group around. I feel kind of lost around here sometimes because I don't always have that security of someone to turn to or someone to trust. We've all got our own lives going on now, and we're still staying friends. But I hope someday we can all have our tight-knit little group again, despite all the changes.

I really only started out meaning to write about my craving for fritos. I swear!

Matt was here. It made me so very happy.

Now he's on his way back to VA and I'm nervous 'cause the weather is icky and stormy here.....

I wish Matt was still here. Or I wish I could go be with him.

I want my Matt back.

Matt's going to be here in about 11 hours.

I think I'm nervous.

I can't sleep. I've been lying in bed for hours and I can't sleep.

I'm wide awake! It doesn't make sense!

I spent all night cleaning and doing my laundry and getting ready.

I guess I am nervous. Matt's never been here before. I don't know why I should be nervous about it, but I guess I am. Maybe I want him to see I'm doing okay here? Maybe I want him to be proud of me? Maybe I'm nervous he'll come and see I don't have that many friends yet? Or maybe that he's all grown up college boy and I'm still little high school girl? That's dumb. That's very dumb. But that could be it. Sigh.

But that is very very silly. Very silly.

But it feels like not sleeping 'cause of nervousness. I should be exhausted. But I'm not. I'm wide wide awake. If only I could be this awake for Latin.

The same thing happened the night before my Bat Mitzvah. Couldn't sleep. Same thing with my driving test. Didn't fall asleep till 3:30 or 4.

Gar. I don't want to be tired when he gets here. I want to be awake and happy.

Plus I've still got stuff to do. I have to make myself look pretty. I can't look pretty when I'm all sleepy.

Why am I nervous? Why am I nervous? Why am I nervous?

I hate this. Whenever I decide I should get a good night's sleep, I can't get a good night's sleep, I can't sleep at all. This is awful. Plus there's nothing good on TV anyway. Blah.

I don't feel like reading. I don't know what I feel like doing. I can't believe I'm nervous! This is ridiculous! This is Matt! Matt knows everything about me, there's nothing to be nervous about....Matt loves me.....I've been horribly stupid in front of Matt and he hasn't cared and yet now I'm nervous about seeing him!!!

I can't BELIEVE this!!! What is WRONG with me?!?!?

Sigh. I wish I could get some sleep. I wish I knew why I am crazy. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

I miss my bed at home. And my cat. I wish I had my cat to pet right now. And my mom to wake up randomly in the middle of the night and talk to me for a few minutes about how it'll be okay and then tuck me into bed. That would be nice. Then I could relax. I'm so tense right now. I don't know why. This is so so stupid.

Why am I nervous?!?!?! It's MATT!!!! Garrrrr.

I keep thinking I hear people doing stuff in the room above me...except I live on the top floor...so that really doesn't make any sense. Unless there's some secret floor that I don't know about. That could be it. Or it could be a ghost. But my dorm is supposed to be one of the few at this school that isn't haunted. Phew. Let's hope it stays that way.

Okay, I'm going to go and try and relax. Bye bye now.

Sigh.

So.

I'm watching West Wing for like the third time today. It's so sad.

I have to write a paper for Friday. I have to do laundry 'cause I'm pretty sure I no longer have clean underwear. My room is a disaster due to the normal clutter we already have, plus the boxes and bags of clothes and sports equipment brought by my roommate last weekend.

I interrupt here to say that CJ on a West Wing ad just said "Crazy Go Nuts" and I automatically thought of the CGNU. Yeah. Uh huh. Time to change to Family Guy. I forgot this was on.

I also need a shower. Because I'm sweaty. But I'm also tired. I'd love to go to sleep naked at this point ::patiently waits for the remarks from Matt, Philippe, Mike if he's reading this, and maybe Miles if he isn't drunk somewhere:: but unfortunetely, I have a roommate, therefore I can't....::again waits for remarks on lesbianism and naked sleeping habits::...Sorry.

There are at least 11 ladybugs in my room at the moment. It's strange. Because I don't want to kill them because they're good luck. But they're kind of annoying me.

And now I'm going to sleep. Because I'm tired. Good night.

Look Mari, an update. Happy now? Took it from Moll-Doll.

A - Act your age - 18
B - Boyfriend - Matt is pretty
C - Chore you hate - Cleaning?
D - Dad's name - Marty
E - Essential make up item - I just discovered how much fun eyeliner is.
F - Favorite actress - Meh.
G - Gold or silver - I said silver at first, but it has been pointed out to me that there is other gold besides yellow gold which isn't so fantastic most of the time...so I say that white gold is better than silver any day of the week.
H - Hometown - I miss it.
I - Instruments you play - Violin
J - Job title - Nada
K - Kids - I go to many measures to make sure I don't have them. Right now, at least. When I'm much older and married, then maybe okay.
L - Living arrangements - In my apparently tiny dorm room. The tiny is according to my roommate's boyfriend's mother. It's not THAT tiny...maybe it is...shush...
M - Mom's name - Judy
N - Number of people you've slept with - I will answer this later.
O - Overnight hospital stays - None.
P - Phobia - Being alone.
Q - Quote you like - I can never remember them when I want to.
R - Religious affiliation? - Jewish
S - Sibling - None
T - Time you wake up? - Um...once I hit the snooze a couple of times?
U - Unique habit - Erm...I dunno...?
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - Brussel Sprouts
W - Worst habit - Again, dunno.
X - X-rays you've had - Teeth, neck when I was really little apparently. So little that it was actually like my whole body more like. I was 2.
Y - Yummy food you make - I'm good at making egg salad and mac and cheese. I'm hungry. It's Yom Kippur. Grr.
Z - Zodiac Sign - Aries.