Matt's going to be here in about 11 hours.

I think I'm nervous.

I can't sleep. I've been lying in bed for hours and I can't sleep.

I'm wide awake! It doesn't make sense!

I spent all night cleaning and doing my laundry and getting ready.

I guess I am nervous. Matt's never been here before. I don't know why I should be nervous about it, but I guess I am. Maybe I want him to see I'm doing okay here? Maybe I want him to be proud of me? Maybe I'm nervous he'll come and see I don't have that many friends yet? Or maybe that he's all grown up college boy and I'm still little high school girl? That's dumb. That's very dumb. But that could be it. Sigh.

But that is very very silly. Very silly.

But it feels like not sleeping 'cause of nervousness. I should be exhausted. But I'm not. I'm wide wide awake. If only I could be this awake for Latin.

The same thing happened the night before my Bat Mitzvah. Couldn't sleep. Same thing with my driving test. Didn't fall asleep till 3:30 or 4.

Gar. I don't want to be tired when he gets here. I want to be awake and happy.

Plus I've still got stuff to do. I have to make myself look pretty. I can't look pretty when I'm all sleepy.

Why am I nervous? Why am I nervous? Why am I nervous?

I hate this. Whenever I decide I should get a good night's sleep, I can't get a good night's sleep, I can't sleep at all. This is awful. Plus there's nothing good on TV anyway. Blah.

I don't feel like reading. I don't know what I feel like doing. I can't believe I'm nervous! This is ridiculous! This is Matt! Matt knows everything about me, there's nothing to be nervous about....Matt loves me.....I've been horribly stupid in front of Matt and he hasn't cared and yet now I'm nervous about seeing him!!!

I can't BELIEVE this!!! What is WRONG with me?!?!?

Sigh. I wish I could get some sleep. I wish I knew why I am crazy. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

I miss my bed at home. And my cat. I wish I had my cat to pet right now. And my mom to wake up randomly in the middle of the night and talk to me for a few minutes about how it'll be okay and then tuck me into bed. That would be nice. Then I could relax. I'm so tense right now. I don't know why. This is so so stupid.

Why am I nervous?!?!?! It's MATT!!!! Garrrrr.

I keep thinking I hear people doing stuff in the room above me...except I live on the top floor...so that really doesn't make any sense. Unless there's some secret floor that I don't know about. That could be it. Or it could be a ghost. But my dorm is supposed to be one of the few at this school that isn't haunted. Phew. Let's hope it stays that way.

Okay, I'm going to go and try and relax. Bye bye now.

Sigh.