So now that I think about it, it's probably good for me.

I'm broadening my horizons...sort of.

I guess you can broaden your horizons without going to someplace really cool. I made a decision to go far away even though I was scared. And go someplace where I don't know anyone. And yeah, it kinda sucks, I'm learning that now, but it's good.

I could have stayed in Jersey, I could have somehow miraculously gone straight to Virginia...but probably someday along the line I would have regretted never going someplace by myself and learning to be a grown up. I would have regretted never working without a net.

So yeah, it's probably good for me. Even if it kinda sucks.

It's not that I'm totally miserable here. It's just that I'm....bored....and frustrated. I like some of the people here, and the surroundings are actually quite beautiful...but...I dunno...it just doesn't quite fit. Like...a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here. But oh well. I don't live here.

And now I remember when I first moved to Jersey and it took me YEARS till I felt like I truly belonged there. Years after I moved I remember writing in one of my little journals how New Jersey wasn't really my home, but my home was my old apartment back in New York, but I couldn't go back there, so I felt very lost and without a place.

But that's not really what I feel like now. I can still go back home. So that's good. And if I couldn't, it'd be easier now. I can go anywhere I want and make it my home.

I just don't really want to make this my home.

But at least I know. At least I'm not going to lie in bed at night years from now going, "I've never been on my own".

So now I know I can.

But...it's getting kind of old now. I'm about ready to go home.