I have winter blues, I think. 'Cause everything's not as fun as it should be at the moment!

1. My mom won't leave me the FUCK alone! Ever! I can't sit on the couch and watch TV without her sitting on the other couch and scowling me. She's constantly in a bad mood and constantly blaming it on me.

2. I have a cold that won't go away and isn't being helped by the fact that my mom keeps not letting me get enough rest and saying "You shouldn't sleep all day" but I'm not sleeping all day and for fuck's sake, obviously I need sleep!

3. Matt is sick and I feel very bad for him. And also, I am highly selfish and wondering how this is going to effect New Years Eve. I'm mean. But I'm mostly just feeling bad for Matt and wishing I could help.

4. I keep missing doing stuff with people due to having to do application stuff or from just not feeling up to it and I feel bad about it and I'm afraid everyone thinks I'm avoiding them but I'm not! I swear! I'm just in some crazy thing right now. Blah.

5. I have a little cut or sore or something on my tongue that hurts like a bitch and keeps getting hit by my teeth. Owie.

I'm a whiny whiny person. I'm sorry. Please still love me?

This is so frustrating. I felt too crappy to go to Mike's party, then I fell asleep on my couch at like 8:30. Got up at 11, went upstairs, went back to sleep. Woke up at 2 and now I can't sleep anymore! WTF?! Plus I woke up really hungry. So now I'm downstairs eating cheesesticks and watching MASH. Plus I slept through going to a diner, also. Argh argh argh.

I want a normal sleep schedule again...sigh.

Mm...nothing wakes you up like luke-warm soup to the crotch....the Queen of Grace strikes again...

Mike's party is right now but I'm very very tired (due to all of four or so hours of sleep) and my head hurts like a bitch, so if I don't show up, that's why and I'm sorry.

Apparently I'm driving with my dad to and from Ohio to get my stuff. Ahh! So I'm learning how to drive on the highway this week so that I can help drive, which will be good 'cause my dad is sloooowwww. And drives all jerky, which is annoying.

I went to my Grandma's birthday party today. I told her she should get a kitten. And then I could come over and play with the kitten. She wants a dog, which would be pretty awesome, but she's too busy to get one and they don't really allow them except ugly little poodles in her building. I almost just wrote puddles. Heh.

I wanna finish fixing my room. And then take the old computer out of there. And maybe paint my desk so it's not white anymore, 'cause that's ugly.

Matt is sick! Oh no! Get better, Matt! Pleeeaassee??

And Philippe is not answering me. But he's gonna make me something pretty to put in my room. I hope.

Mari and Linda came over yesterday and we looked at my yearbook from 8th grade. Heheheh. P.S. I was highly funny looking. (and still am, right? Yeah, yeah, shuddup, ho bag!!)

Time for trying to make my headache go away. Rar.

P.S. The college backlash has begun, my grandmother is now getting highly concerned, calling my mother to find out if I'm "depressed" and sending my e-mails saying how she's thinking of me and "just wants me to be happy".

Er...blah. I'm not depressed. I'm happy 'cause I get to not go back. I'm fine. Bah! Lemme alone!

Matt's helping me fix up the room. He's awesome. And we threw out my OU shirt. Extra awesome....it was a nice shirt...but I didn't like looking at it...so away it goes. Hee hee hee hee.

Also, I got more Sculpey clay for Hannukah. I already made Trogdor out of clay.

So, usually I don't really like posting songs in my blog. But I really can't resist. So...well, it's a little late. But here ya go.

I Want an Alien for Christmas
by Fountains of Wayne

This year for Christmas
There's something I'd really like
So if you're up there somewhere Santa
Please don't bring me another bike

I don't need any ugly sweaters
And I don't play much basketball
But there's something kinda special
That I want most of all...

I want an alien for Christmas
Bring me an alien this year
I want a little green guy
About three feet high
With seventeen eyes

Who knows how to fly
I want an alien for Christmas this year

He can live in the bath tub
So don't worry about a thing
And I'll take him out for walks
When it gets nicer in the Spring

I'll always keep him company
He'll never be alone
And we can hang around the house all day
And watch the Twilight Zone

I want an alien for Christmas
Bring me an alien this year
I want a little green guy

About three feet high
With seventeen eyes
Who knows how to fly
I want an alien for Christmas this year

I want an alien for Christmas
Bring me an alien this year
I want a little green guy
About three feet high
With seventeen eyes

Who knows how to fly
I want an alien for Christmas this year
I want an alien for Christmas this year

So far, my Hannukah presents have been pretty awesome.

I got a CD by this woman named Kaki King and she's an awesome guitarist. Listen to her, she plays lovely music.

I saw Lord of the Rings again tonight. But I fell asleep for part of it. What? I was tired. Leave me alone.

I think I need to get West Wing on DVD 'cause I'm completely obsessed with it, it's terribly sad.

AND

Where is Mari? Mari, come out of hiding, please. I have Gangs of New York for you.

OMG WTF I've been home for HOW LONG and I haven't seen Ms. Diane Slutzky yet?!?!?! WTF MAN! I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS, THIS IS SO VERY VERY WRONG!! FIX IT!!! FIX IT NOW!!!!!

Diane, I miss you, I must see you like NOW.

Matt and I went to the Big Apple Circus with my parents. I love the Big Apple Circus, it is awesome.

I got my picture taken with this guy:



and it totally made my week. If you know the Big Apple Circus, you know that's Grandma, and I've been going to the circus nearly every year since before I can remember and Grandma is the all time best and most awesome clown in the Big Apple Circus so I totally spazzed at getting a picture with him and was so happy and smiling for like fifteen minutes afterward.

Yes, I am a dork. But I'm a dork who got a picture with Grandma. So shove it.

P.S. You should know that when we were taking the picture the guy with the camera was like "Say cheese!" and Grandma was like, "Let's be original. Say transvestite!"

So yesterday I felt crappy and couldn't find any sudafed which meant I slept much of the day. I fell asleep watching TV on my mom's bed at like...hmm...well, I was watching Boston Public....So it was maybe 8:30ish when I fell asleep....and at about 10:30 my mom came upstairs and told me to go into my own room and just go to sleep.

Did that, felt slightly proud that I was going to bed so early after going to bed late ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

But then I woke up around 1 something, got up to go to the bathroom, and now TADA I can't sleep. Sigh.

So I came online, but no one's here, then I tried to see about applying to places part time and that didn't work, and ahh everything's all crazy.

My mom got me this kinda weird bracelet for Hannukah. It's like little round chain link bracelet but all the links are circles with weird bumps on them. She said she got it because I lost the bracelet my dad got for me in Israel (the really pretty one that I loved and wore all the time 'cause it was from Israel and my dad got it for me and it was really beautiful and then I was a moron and the one party I went to I lost it at). She also said I could return it. Which I do believe I will, because she knows I don't really like it. My poor Mommy. I feel bad for not liking the bracelet. My mom always gets me jewelery that I don't wear/want and I always feel bad about it. Like for my 18th birthday she got me this necklace which is kinda pretty and is just this nice little round thing...but then Matt got me the heart necklace so I never wore my mom's. I probably wouldn't have anyway 'cause it's not really my style. She doesn't hold that against me, but I still feel bad. Plus last night she got my dad this piece of art that's like...I dunno how to explain it...it's a stone like thing that you put on the wall and it's a tree...I dunno..I kinda like it. But my dad didn't. So my mom kinda got shot down twice. Poor Mommy.

I still have to get her something....hmm...dunno what to get her though...I'll probably end up getting her jewelery. Again. Sigh.

1. I will probably not be returning to Ohio University. Because I hate it. Because it sucks balls.

2. This will probably turn me into the black sheep of the family. Meh. I'm unique. Deal with it, fam. My dad's all "!!!!" while my mom is more "!!....I'll deal".

3. I need a job. Seriously. Give me money. Now.

4. I will be attempting to take a couple of classes at Rutgers or MSU next semester. Next year I'll hopefully be going someplace full time again. That's the long term goal.

5. My nails are all gross and cracking and shit. I need a nail clipper like NOW.

I have to stop listening to my mom when she says things. Because she's shit at making observations or knowing when to butt the fuck out.

She told me she didn't want me to be an "appendage" and so ever since she said that I've been feeling like one and that makes me feel like shit. Even though it's not true. I think. I hope. See what she does to me? Goddamnit. I have to learn that my mom says really really dumb shit to me quite often and she often makes really bad assumptions about me and doesn't know as much as she thinks she does. Especially when it comes to me.

I am sad and I don't like that. I had a very lovely night, but now I am sad and I really really hate that and I'm not sure why, I mean I have ideas about why but none of them really make any sense at all.

Well...one of the reasons is that everyone is coming back when I'm starting to think about having to leave.

I don't want to go. I seriously don't. I am absolutely serious in so many ways that I do not want to go back there and I don't think anyone is really taking me seriously but I am serious. I don't want to go back. I hate it there. I simply and truly hate it and nothing there makes me happy and oh god please don't make me go back there. Please don't make me. Please. I will get a job and go to school somewhere, anywhere, or I don't know where but please please please god please do not make me go back there I never want to go back there. Please.

Today is supposed to be a happy day. So I will be sad now and then hopefully I will not be sad later.

My head hurts. Fix it. Pretty please.

My dad is uncool in the fact that he has to get up way earlier than my mom and he leaves his radio alarm on for a really long time before getting up and then he leaves it on and leaves the room and it wakes my mom up and she's bad at sleeping in the first place. That was a long run-on sentence. So anyway. My dad's in the bathroom and I turned his alarm off so that my mommy can sleep because she's always tired. Poor dear. Like mother like daughter. Maybe it's genetic? Or maybe I'm anemic...I need vitamins...

So yeah, now I have to drive my dad to the station in like an hour even though I for some reason decided not to sleep last night. Actually, that's why. 'Cause I'm awake and he saw me and was like "You're driving me, right?" And as I said before, my mom needs sleep. So do I, but that can wait a bit. And now I'm all crazy bag eye lady. Maybe I'll drop by school after I drop him off and see Mrs. Hershey and Mrs. Tennenbaum. Mm...that means getting dressed and putting on massive make up to hide the bag eyes 'cause Mrs. Tennenbaum will yell at me and stuff for not sleeping. I think it's worth it. Plus I get to see Diane that way. That is sexy. As is Diane. Oh baby. Oh baby.

Speaking of sexy, let me know if you'd like to hear my sexy new pick-up line. It's not only amazingly arousing, but also festive and rather seasonal. It is. I swear.

I have The Doors stuck in my head. C'mon baby, light my fire. C'mon baby, light my fire. We can set the world on....FIIIIIRRRRRRREEEEE......

Or something like that. Actually I think it was something more like get higher. Or maybe better?

Yeah, no one's gonna get that joke. Maybe Miles will. Or Mike. Or they won't. And then I'll cry. Or just kick them in the shins to make myself feel better.

I'm apparently supposed to bake ginger bread cookies next week....or sugar cookies...or both...yum....Except when my mom asked me to make ginger bread cookies she said "Hannukah Cookies" and I got really confused 'cause wtf's a Hannukah cookie? Apparently a Hannukah cookie is a gingerbread cookie in Hannukah shapes. Like a menorah. Or a dreidel. Or a yarmulkah (ya-moo-kah- n. Jewish beanie thing). But really, a yarmulkah shaped cookie is just a normal cookie with a funny word attached to it.

Okay. Time for not talking. I'm starting to sound like Matt. Where is Matt? Come home, Matt! Or is it Baer now? Or...wtf's your name, man?!

I'm so confused......

And also: Last night I was talking to Philippe and he was high...on life...yes..that's it...high on life. And Jesus. Don't forget about Jesus.

Edit: I hate when I forget to close an html code and it turns my whole blog into italics. Suck it, HTML.

But not really, 'cause you make my blog pretty and special. ::pats HTML on head::

Oh LORD I need some SLEEP!!!

Oh man, there were THE MOST OBNOXIOUS KIDS on the train on the way to the city. They were sitting behind us and their mother's were sitting across the aisle from the completely ignoring them and chatting like lalala our kids are annoying but we don't care. They were from Millburn. Mmhmm. Make of that what you will. One kid kept kicking the back of our seats and then my mom and I kept debating whether or not to yell at the kid or just go after his mother. I said yelling at the kid would just cause them to start crying and the mom would probably bitch at us for talking to her kids. So then we decided to tell the mom, but my mom decided she was a wimp and that I had to do it. But by that time the kid had stopped kicking and you can't very well go, "Hey, your kid's kicking my chair, make him stop," if the kid isn't actually kicking your chair at that moment. So nothing ended up happening which is slightly disappointing because I have this streak of attitude that enjoys telling random people off. These mom's actually let this one kid sit in the middle of the aisle and start looking at some dirty coupon flyer that they stick in all the newspapers and that people throw on the floor and everyone and their mother steps on. Yick. Bah to mothers who don't sit with their children on the train. Bah, I say! Bah!

Oh yeah, and I dropped my logo-riffic Christmas Carol cup filled with $4 Poland Spring in Penn Station and it broke and the water went everywhere. Smooth move, ex-lax.

Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that the cup was probably worth about $3 alone. Actually, the cup was probably really only worth about $0.75. But it's the logo that makes it so valuable. Obviously it costs probably about $2.25 per cup to put the little "A Christmas Carol" logo on there. But in all actuality it probably costs more like $0.10 to put the logo on it. And maybe another $0.10 for the (5-9 yr old sweatshop) workers who make the little machine run. How ingenuously evil. I say we revolt. Say no to evil logo-cups! But, alas, there was no cupless option and I was thirsty, so we were stuck paying $4. Rats. Foiled again.

But yes, as I was saying:

I am the very essence of grace.

And you damn well better believe it.

I need people to come home like yesterday. I'm so freakin' bored. And currently I'm very lonely. :-(

My parents are around, but they don't count so much right now.

Although, I saw Stephane today! Whee! Stephane makes me smile because he kisses random people on the cheek. He kissed my mom on the cheek. Crazy Stephane. You make me giggle.

I went into the city today to see A Christmas Carol. We were in the second row. Score! But the show was definitely much more impressive when I saw it in sixth grade on a school trip. Plus, it's JingleBall tonight so there were tons of 12 year old skanks roaming around and squeeling and showing off their underwear and stuff. Sigh. When I was 12 I was like, the anti-skank. I HID my body. Seriously. I would wear jeans and sweatshirts in like May 'cause I didn't want people to see that I had boobs. Or the beginnings of boobs. I blame my mother.

But don't I always? Hehehe. I'm so mean. Anyway.

I did get snowed on during the show. That's basically the whole point of going to see A Christmas Carol. If they didn't shower the audience with snow at the end it would never have lasted this long. The snow is weird and looks like it's made of soap and dissolves pretty quickly, which is good 'cause I didn't really feel like going on the train looking like Madame Dandriff of Essex County.

My mom just showed me some old picture in the Times of guys with no pants on playing mini-golf while their clothes got pressed.....okay.....my mom is simply fascinating sometimes.

I want a flu shot. I'm scared of the flu. Must call doctor tomorrow. Yes indeed.

Kaitlyn Brown. Michelle Branch is on Conan wearing a wife beater type thing that says "I <3 Conan".

Too bad I can't understand a word she's saying, though. That's not too normal. Michelle Branch is usually okay with enunciating. I'm gonna say somebody fucked up the mic volume or something.

I'm going to see A Christmas Carol tomorrow...or today. I wish everyone would come home already. I miss everyone and I'm CRAZY bored.

Lucy! I'm home!

So anyway. UVA = so much fun. Especially when you're just there for the fun stuff and can sleep while everyone else is in class.

I rode on very small planes. I didn't mind them too much. After we landed on the second flight we were waiting for someone to come open the door so we could get out and this was overheard:

::Door opens with weird kind of knocking sound::

Mustache guy: Who is it?
Grey haired guy: I was always taught never to open the door unless you're absolutely sure who's there.
Mustache guy: Or you have a really big gun.

And this is for Diane:

Mrs. Hershey: What're goosebumps called?
Lyle: OOOH!!! ERECTILE DISFUNTION!!!.......DAMNIT! I meant.....the....DAMNIT!

Yo, Mari, what the hell SN are you on? So confusing.

UVA is awesome. Don't tell Matt, but I have a crush on his school.

I'm hungry. I'll write something decent later. Maybe. If I feel like it.

Adios.

YOU'RE ROBIN! You're very nice and cute, but with a
very take-no-crap attitude. So when shananigans
abound, people better watch out!


Who's who in the crew?
brought to you by Quizilla

That. Is. HOT.

P.S. I saw Unbreakable last night. It was meh.

Also, Matt's roommate snores and it bothers Matt so much he shoves a pillow over his head in his sleep. Poor dear.

1. Who is "anon"? Tell me? Pretty please?

2. Josh....shuddup. It was so the Clash. I don't care about Amazon.

3. I haven't left my house in like two and a half days. That's really not good. But I'm oh so lazy. I'm going out today, though. I must, because I'm going to Virginia tomorrow (yay!) and have things to do before I go. Here is my to-do list:

- Do laundry
- Go to mall and get gloves, replacement flower for hair, random clothes for the hell of it
- Go to drug fair and replace eye liner as well as sharpener for eyeliner...never let Mom get sharpener for eye liner again as it only ends in tragedy
- Go to CHS Yeah, that's gonna have to wait till I get back from Virginia. Sorry.
- Get teeth stuff
- Pack: Three pairs pants/shirts/underwear/bras, one dress or dressy type thing, nice shoes (preferably of the walkable variety), shower things, toothbrush/paste, make up and make up remover ('cause I don't care if I wake up with raccoon eyes when I'm alone, but...Matt's gonna be there!), anything I may or may not be bringing for Matt, books, laptop w/ charger, cell phone w/ charger....

Lemme know if I'm forgetting anything, purdy please.

I would greatly appreciate it if someone could find a reason for me to be able to wear my prom dress and shoes and get my hair and make up done and get all prettified again and go out someplace nice and dance and eat silly food on small plates and have fun while being all pretty.

Thanks.