Does that say "pounding"?

Wait, I'm sorry, I left out the best LA story I've got.

So one day I go to a workshop with my grandmother and this woman who was signing people in at the desk (another actress, not any sort of casting person) asks me if I have time to go to a casting call later that day. Apparently she works for someone who is looking for girls around my age to read for parts in a movie. I got very excited and said of course I'd go. She handed me a breakdown of the roles and told me that I'd be told who to read for when I got there. Hooray.

There were two female parts being cast and neither of them exactly seemed perfect for me, I was either too young of too old. I decided to go anyway, 'cause hey, you never know, and it'd be good experience and a way to get my face and name out into the world. I put on a stupid amount of makeup (just for reference, most amounts of makeup are stupid amounts to me...I'm very much a moisturizer and chapstick girl and that's it...actually, you can probably skip the moisturizer half the time too. I'm so very lazy) and my mother and I set off to the audition. She dropped me off and went to a nearby diner to wait for me.

I walked into the building where the casting was taking place. It was kind of...okay, I can't avoid it, it was kinda sketchy. It was a dance studio and all the walls were wood panneling and it kinda looked like an old Cracker Barrel (if you don't know what Cracker Barrel is you haven't taken enough road trips) that had been turned into studios. But, I thought, you can't judge a book by it's cover (though I totally do, btw, no matter how hard I try not to....that's actual books I'm talking about, not anything else like people or anything). LA is way different from New York in a lot of respects and just because stuff is going on in an odd sort of building doesn't mean I shouldn't take it seriously.

I sat and waited with three other girls for a few minutes. They all had sides (parts of the script that they use to audition people with) already. A woman came out with a clipboard for us to sign in with and I told her how I'd been sent here by someone and told I'd be given sides and told who to read for when I got there. She left for a few minutes and came back with two sheets of paper for me. I was reading for a different part than all the other girls there it seemed.

I skimmed over the pages quickly and saw I only had two lines...that seemed kinda weird for an audition. I saw a note at the top of the page that said: "You will be reading for this part alone, we just want to see your emotional range". Okay, I get that, it's reactionary stuff. Then I went and actually read the entire thing. It started off with a guy walking into a room naked and jumping on some girl....um...alright. Then it skipped to another scene which involved the character I was trying out for and another guy. After about two seconds it became clear what kind of a scene this was.

My first line was, "I want you to be my first."

This, my friends, was a hardcore sex scene.

And by hardcore, I really don't think I'm exaggerating. The words "pounding into her", "sweat dripping onto her", and "went limp beneath him" were used. Did I mention that my character is supposed to start crying while this is going on? And the guy in the scene is "pounding" her while looking at a picture of another guy....right.

So I read this and am sure I'm blushing furiously and also slightly freaking out. This is not what I was expecting AT ALL. So, I think, maybe I can ask to try out for the other part. I turn to the girl sitting next to me, she's skinny and pretty and waif-like. I ask to look at her sides. Her's are for another character and it's a nice long conversation scene about I don't know what. But the part definitely seems too old for me. It's maybe mid-twenties and every casting person I've met so far has told me how lucky I am that I could play 15 or 16.

I'm at a total loss for what to do now. I could go in, suck it up (no puns intended), and audition for the sex scene. This would kinda take a lot of willpower and concentration on my part 'cause I don't really know how to show lots of emotional range in some random sex scene where I don't know anything about the characters besides she's a virgin and the guy obviously has some issues. Plus, hi...sex scene? Definitely not easy to do without being completely embarassed and blushing and not acting like a four year old. Ew, sex scene..four year old...bad metaphor..or whatever. Anyway. I sit there for maybe two more minutes, looking around the room and feeling really embarassed 'cause no one else has to do a sex scene for an audition. Plus I kinda feel like a guilty little kid who found some dirty magazines. I'm not supposed to be looking at this! This is for people far older than me!

Finally I give up. I hand my sides over to the waif girl sitting next to me, say "I have to go, can you make sure that woman gets these back?" and bolt. I would kind of describe it as a "kthxbye" moment but in real life. Seriously, I'm surprised there weren't dust trails behind me I got out of that place so fast.

After that, I found the nearest supermarket, got some make up remover to get the crap off my face, then went to a nearby mall with my mom and got a nice cold chocolatey drink and tried as hard as I could to repress the last few hours.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of my very first ever LA audition.

At least I got a good story out of it.

If you don't like it, don't read it...

WARNING: There is quite a lot of bitching about my grandma below. If you don't want to hear it, don't read it, I don't blame you, it's probably dull as hell to anyone but me. I needed to blow off some steam and this is how I did it. If you do read this make sure you read the last part where I make it clear that I do not hate her or any of that. K, you've been warned, that's all. If you're looking for other stuff about my CA trip, it's in the entry below this one. Enjoy.

Staying with my grandmother was..erm...well not as bad as I thought it would be? There were only a few times I really wanted to throw things. When my parents were around I actually was more tense about it because while being alone with my grandmother can make me a bit nutty sometimes, at least I could go into the guest room and chill and close the door if I needed to. But while my parents were there they had the guest room, I was on the couch, and there was no real place I could go for any privacy. My grandmother got on my nerves far less than I thought she would, possibly because my dad had a little talk with her before hand about leaving me alone sometimes. Hooray dad. She still got a little crazy at times. At breakfast she would somehow be disgustingly awake (she blamed it on headache medicine that made her hyper) and chatter endlessly about lord knows what. I eventually learned to just let her talk and act too tired to acknowledge anything, which was usually true most of the time anyway. She also was always too warm it seemed and her house was FREEZING. I didn't think I would need layers in LA and therefore didn't pack many warm clothes but I was completely regretting that decision after half an hour in there. Eesh.

There was also the chores. Okay, I'm not entirely lazy, I'll do my share of chores when asked (the fact that I am rarely asked at home doesn't mean I won't do stuff if someone wanted me to). But this was kinda ridiculous. I mean, for one, I was kinda on vacation, and I was a guest. My grandmother had just moved into a new apartment though, and that meant she had lots of handyman kinda things she needed done. That was alright with me, I offered to help her out with a few things like hanging a mazuzah (sp?) on the door or figuring out how to program the thermostat, stuff like that. But that's when things got kinda out of hand. My grandmother has this lovely little way of asking you to do something without actually asking so there's no real way to decline. Such as "Oh, when you're done with that, maybe you can put up those shelves in the other room...we'll see how you're feeling you finish" and then later go "Oh, so can you put up the shelves now?" like I'd definitely agreed to do it. In the week and a half I was at my grandmother's I fixed the thermostat, helped her move some big heavy buffet kinda table (which she smushed my fingers under after I repeatedly said "Don't move it while I do this"..I kinda knew she would anyway...maybe I'm a masochist), rearragned the completely filled file drawers in her desk, tried to fix two soap dispensers, put boxes away on tall shelves, tried to fix the latch on an air vent, went to bed and bath with her twice and carried the heavy awkward stuff from the car up to her apartment, and also washed my own sheets because she had not changed them in between my using them and my parents using them (and possibly from the time my cousin was using them which was for the entire week before I got there). My dad was there for four days and she managed to get him to change the height of every shelf in every cupboard in the kitchen. Mm. Vacation. Relaxing. I just barely got out of putting together her pilates machine an hour before leaving for the airport by saying, "I just packed all of my clothes away and I don't want to risk getting all messed up before getting on the plane".

But really I think the worst parts were when she'd treat me like a child. Every time I yawned she'd go "Aw, Robin's tired" like I was a little kid in need of a nap. I yawn a lot, lemme alone! I eventually kinda snapped at her about it 'cause it was really getting on my nerves and she kinda stopped except instead of saying "Aw, Robin's tired," she'd say "Aw...oh wait, I'm not supposed to say anything, okay, okay, I'll stop". One day I actually was tired and my mother suggested I go out and rest by the pool and just set an alarm on my phone so I wouldn't get a sunburn. The reason I was going by the pool was so that I could get some peace and quiet away from my family. My grandmother heard this, however, and decided that she HAD to stick around while I laid by the pool because she had to be there to wake me up because I might be in such a deep sleep that the alarm wouldn't wake me. Grr. I've been getting up by alarm for years, I barely ever sleep through it and there's no way I'd sleep through it when I'm sitting around in some plastic lawn chair for only an hour. She also decided that I needed my mother's permission in order to drive on the freeway in her (my grandmother's) car. This really kinda got to me because I'm twenty years old and no one has said I need my mother's permission for anything since I graduated high school. I mean, I do ask my mother about doing stuff, but mostly it's "Would you mind if I did this?", not "May I please do this?" because we both know that if there's something I really want to do I'm going to do it with or without her permission. That's kinda been the deal between us since a few months after I turned 18 and it's saved us from hundreds of fights. She might not like some of the stuff I do, but she understands that it's up to me now and usually keeps her mouth shut. This way I get to do stuff I want and if there's a negative consequence, then I have to deal with it. I learn to deal with life a lot better that way than if my mother forbid me from doing anything she didn't like. Anyway, the thing about driving on the freeway was that...it was my grandmother's car. She was the one who needed to give permission, not my mother. But she didn't want to take responsibility at all so she put it on my mom to decide, when it's not actually any of my mom's business if I drive someone else's car or not. If it were my mom's car I'd understand. But it wasn't. So....grr.

And the one time I actually said, "Hey, look, I can take care of myself, I'm a big girl," she patted my arm, gave me a rather patronizing look and said in a kind of babying voice "I know, I know, you're a big girl."

I feel like a bit of an asshole saying all this crap. I love my grandmother, she's my grandma, how could I not? We had some pleasant conversations, she paid for me to go to workshops and helped me out with my pictures and resume. She took me to the mall to get my iPod fixed and waited around with me for two hours until they could get to me. She let me stay in her house for a week and a half and eat her food and even got food for me that she probably won't eat herself. She took me out for lunch and dinner. She honestly tried to make sure I got to do the stuff I wanted to do and to have a good time and she did her best to try and stay out of my way when I needed space to myself.

So don't take this as me completely trashing my grandmother. I really did not say any of this stuff to her or act like a bitch or yell at her or anything. I maybe told her I didn't like her doing something once or twice, but I wasn't really rude about it, I think, just straight forward and then I'd drop it. I didn't complain when helping her with stuff in the house or carrying things for her or whatever. I even got her some of the houseware stuff she needed when I was out running my own errands. This is just me blowing off some steam. Please do not think I am horrible and ungrateful. I care about my grandmother and her feelings. Please don't say "You should be nicer to her and more grateful for your grandmother while she's around." Because I am. But she is kind of a difficult person sometimes, as is everyone, and instead of completely blowing up and being a hardcore bitch to her, I'm writing on my blog. So please don't give me shit about it.

And now I must go. I'm visiting Josh now and waiting for him to get back from some career day thing and I've been on the computer far too long. I should like...go be in the sunshine or something. Bye for now.

I'll stick with Jersey, thanks...

It's been how long since I wrote in my blog?

I've actually started writing this entry at least twice..maybe three times..if only because three is a better sounding number in this situation.

Anyway, I put far too much pressure on myself with this 1000th entry thing and was putting off writing until I could write something really good. Which is most definitely never going to happen. So I might as well just update as usual and go, hey...1000 entries....neat.

LA was interesting. I did a lot of workshops, which is going and doing cold readings for a casting director...it's supposed to be a learning experience, but people really go in hopes of later getting auditions from these people, which I guess happens quite a bit since so many people were there. The workshops were fun if only for the chance to act out scenes and watch some really funny stuff going on. I had one really kind of awful partner, total weirdo. She wouldn't stop staring at me and when the scene ended and she was supposed to leave the stage she just kinda stood there with this goofy smile staring at me. When I tried to nudge her off a little she just nudged me right back....yeesh. That was my first workshop and I spent the rest of the two hours feeling rather craptastic. Got over it pretty quickly though, which is good. Hopefully that gives me kind of an idea of how hard it will be for me to get over bad auditions?

I also went to Disneyland!!! Highly exciting. Went on a few rides including Pirates of the Carribean (MUST WATCH MOVIE AGAIN) and the teacups....I don't care if it's a baby ride, they're awesome and I love them. However, it ended badly since I got rather cranky at the fact that we weren't leaving when I wanted to because I had stuff that I really really needed to get done by a certain time. My crankiness got my mom insane and my dad just kind of was oblivious (they came to visit for the weekend, most of the time it was just me and my grandmother who I was staying with). Now that I think about it, I'm kinda wondering if that wasn't on purpose. Maybe he's just tricking us into thinking he's a space cadet when really he just doesn't want to deal with us and pretends he doesn't know what's going on...hmm...

Took a Warner Bros. tour. That was cool. I was actually less interested in the sets of TV shows and more interested in spotting TV stars parking spaces. They weren't pointed out on the tour, but all the parking spots had first initials and last names on them and if you were quick you could figure out who parked where. Luke, btw, parks next to Paris.

LA itself is not really my favorite place in the world, I think. Too many billboards and everything kind of looks rundown. Plus I kinda feel like palm trees really just belong on the beach and not lining every street. It was a bit more interesting at night when there were some sparkly lighted signs but other than that I wasn't all that impressed. Could have just been the area I was in, I don't know. Plus it's weird in the way that every little section has it's own name, like there are a million different little cities. Some of the names were cool, though. My favorite was Tarzana.

I'll end this here for now. I have another entry coming up about my grandmother. It was going to be all one entry but it was disgustingly long so....stay tuned for a lovely entry of me bitching! Yay!

Insert cheesy title here

Off to California!

Wish me luck!

I'd write more but must actually get dressed now.

Lots of love.

-Robin

(Entry #999 just so you know ;-) )

Dear Mythbusters,

You have a neat show. But if you don't stop scratching your nails on a chalkboard in your damn commercial I WILL have to take you down.

kthxbye.

All my love,
Robin

A building just partially collapsed in my old neighborhood. It was onto a scaffolding so some pedestrians were there along with construction workers and other people from the building...It's literally eight blocks from where I used to live and four blocks from where my childhood best friend and her family lives. I called them and according to her mom they're all okay, thank goodness. There was a baby in the rubble, though. I hope everyone's okay.

Post #996

What should I do for my 1000th post?

Attn. Kaity

Conan just dissed Clay Aiken!!! What do you do when one of your husbands disses your other husband?! WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!

Childhood

Amazon keeps suggesting all these really good kids books that I loved when I was younger.

Except I have to keep clicking "Not interested" instead of "I have this and I love it!" because I really don't want them to keep recommending kids books to me.

But I feel a little bad. I love you old awesome kids books. I really do. I just don't really want to keep being recommended kids books I've already read instead of grown up books I haven't.

*Included in the list would be:

My Father's Dragon series
The Cricket in Times Square books
The Boxcar Children books
Little House on the Prairie books
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books
In the Night Kitchen
A Wrinkle in Time
Ramona books
etc.

A thousand words...

This should let you know what my work day was like today:

Holy crap, the post counter is working...this would be entry #992..weird.

And my gum still hurts...

5:30 AM - Go to sleep.
7:00 AM - Wake up to drive parents to train. Find out our water heater is broken and must spend day waiting for the repairman. Also already must wait for the guy to come fix the windshield wiper motor on mom's car. Dad also asks to have dry cleaing picked up "if all that stuff gets finished early enough".
10:00 AM - Right when getting back under the covers, the doorbell rings. Neighbor's workmen very politely ask for car to be moved "so nothing falls on it while we're working". Move car, see PSE&G truck pull up across the street. Stand at door waiting for man to get out of truck.
10:15 AM - Guy FINALLY gets out of the damn truck.
10:17 AM - Guy takes one look at it and says the thing's busted, we need a plumber, but he'll try stuff anyway.
10:45 AM - Guy is now all wet from spazzy water heater, say thing's definitely busted, we need a new heater. Leaves.
11:00 AM - Dad calls to say people to install the new heater will be here anytime between 2 and 6 today. Get annoyed, tell him that's fine but he's picking up his own damn dry cleaning.
11:15 AM - Guy to fix windshield wiper motor shows up, fixes stuff leaves with a shiny $5 tip. Robin's wallet mourns the loss of said shiny $5.
11:30 AM - Finally get back under covers again.
11:31 AM - Mother calls.
11:45 AM - Finally finally get back under covers and fall asleep after trying to ignore noise from next door and light from window shade that can't be closed without upsetting pretty new tropical plant.
2:00 PM - Plumber shows up to replace water heater. Says we also need an extra part for something for around $200. Uses lots of fancy plumbing words.
2:01 PM - Robin quits and moves back to Ohio (ugh) where at least she could get some damn sleep once in awhile.

Get the FUCK off my lawn!!!

Oh people are just assholes. My neighbor is having some kind of work done on his house starting today it seems. I kinda wonder if he's planning on moving 'cause he's been doing a lot of work on his house lately, but it could just be him doing it since he used to do a lot of work on his house all the time.

Anyway, I come back this morning from dropping my dad at the train to find these two huge metal beam kinda things lying flat in our driveway, one going straight down the driveway and one crossing over it nearly into our backyard. I can't even get into the damn driveway unless I plan on running this shit over. So I roll my window down and just start going off on them to get their crap out of our driveway. I'm really proud of myself at the fact that I didn't swear once. I think. But anyway, they send this little guy over and he pulls the beam that's lying straight out onto our neighbors yard so I can pull in the driveway. And then just stands there, leaving the other one sitting across our driveway! So I just start screaming "Yeah, you better move the other one two, this isn't his property, that can't stay here!" and he looks at me like "What? You're kidding, right?" WTF PEOPLE?!?

So by now a couple more of the guys working on the house start coming over to the driveway seeing as I'm still screaming my head off at this little guy and he's moving the other beam and I start yelling at all of them "You can't put stuff here! This is not his driveway! This is our driveway!!!" And so they kinda nod at me, looking really dazed. I'm sure they assumed no one was going to be back in the driveway for the rest of the day so they could just put their shit there without asking us (and if they had asked we most likely would have said okay as long as we can get in and out easily). And then they get some tiny little girl in pajamas (and by pajamas I mean an oversized grey tee shirt and some little grey shorts so it's possible I looked like I wasn't wearing pants) screaming her head off at them. Ha. Don't put your shit in my driveway. Damnit.

I have a wisdom tooth growing in and it's making my gum hurt like a bitch. I can't chew and if it's in any sort of weird position it's owie. :-(

It's raining and I'm listening to soft music and people won't answer their phone. Sigh.

Mommy, mommy, I have to go to the room where legends die...

Robin: Ow. I have lots of cuts.
Mom: From what?
Robin: Work.
Mom: Work? What's at work that can cut you?
Robin: I dunno...paper cuts and stuff....and the videos that jump off the shelves and attack me.
Mom: Are they Tom Cruise movies?
Robin: No, not yet...but they have been lookin' kinda shifty lately.

Happy 4th, lovers.

People are more likely to read entries when they're short, did you know?

At work today I found a tape with a loose piece of plastic jingling around inside. I guess I get kinda goofy when I'm working alone and I'm bored and tired because I left the tape out with a note for Clay saying "there be somethin' loose in here...yo". When he came in and saw it, I seriously heard him start giggling hysterically. I like making people giggle.

I am a bad hostess because while my mom's friend from the city was in (who has known me since I was an itty bitty baby and who I think is rather nifty) I managed to fall asleep on the couch while we were sitting around waiting for my dad to finish dinner. And when I woke up, my mom had put a Tivoed Case Closed on. I got my mom into anime? Wtf?

Wait, is the snapple lady doing celebrity fit club AGAIN? Ohh snapple lady! That's just...unspeakably sad...