If you don't like it, don't read it...

WARNING: There is quite a lot of bitching about my grandma below. If you don't want to hear it, don't read it, I don't blame you, it's probably dull as hell to anyone but me. I needed to blow off some steam and this is how I did it. If you do read this make sure you read the last part where I make it clear that I do not hate her or any of that. K, you've been warned, that's all. If you're looking for other stuff about my CA trip, it's in the entry below this one. Enjoy.

Staying with my grandmother was..erm...well not as bad as I thought it would be? There were only a few times I really wanted to throw things. When my parents were around I actually was more tense about it because while being alone with my grandmother can make me a bit nutty sometimes, at least I could go into the guest room and chill and close the door if I needed to. But while my parents were there they had the guest room, I was on the couch, and there was no real place I could go for any privacy. My grandmother got on my nerves far less than I thought she would, possibly because my dad had a little talk with her before hand about leaving me alone sometimes. Hooray dad. She still got a little crazy at times. At breakfast she would somehow be disgustingly awake (she blamed it on headache medicine that made her hyper) and chatter endlessly about lord knows what. I eventually learned to just let her talk and act too tired to acknowledge anything, which was usually true most of the time anyway. She also was always too warm it seemed and her house was FREEZING. I didn't think I would need layers in LA and therefore didn't pack many warm clothes but I was completely regretting that decision after half an hour in there. Eesh.

There was also the chores. Okay, I'm not entirely lazy, I'll do my share of chores when asked (the fact that I am rarely asked at home doesn't mean I won't do stuff if someone wanted me to). But this was kinda ridiculous. I mean, for one, I was kinda on vacation, and I was a guest. My grandmother had just moved into a new apartment though, and that meant she had lots of handyman kinda things she needed done. That was alright with me, I offered to help her out with a few things like hanging a mazuzah (sp?) on the door or figuring out how to program the thermostat, stuff like that. But that's when things got kinda out of hand. My grandmother has this lovely little way of asking you to do something without actually asking so there's no real way to decline. Such as "Oh, when you're done with that, maybe you can put up those shelves in the other room...we'll see how you're feeling you finish" and then later go "Oh, so can you put up the shelves now?" like I'd definitely agreed to do it. In the week and a half I was at my grandmother's I fixed the thermostat, helped her move some big heavy buffet kinda table (which she smushed my fingers under after I repeatedly said "Don't move it while I do this"..I kinda knew she would anyway...maybe I'm a masochist), rearragned the completely filled file drawers in her desk, tried to fix two soap dispensers, put boxes away on tall shelves, tried to fix the latch on an air vent, went to bed and bath with her twice and carried the heavy awkward stuff from the car up to her apartment, and also washed my own sheets because she had not changed them in between my using them and my parents using them (and possibly from the time my cousin was using them which was for the entire week before I got there). My dad was there for four days and she managed to get him to change the height of every shelf in every cupboard in the kitchen. Mm. Vacation. Relaxing. I just barely got out of putting together her pilates machine an hour before leaving for the airport by saying, "I just packed all of my clothes away and I don't want to risk getting all messed up before getting on the plane".

But really I think the worst parts were when she'd treat me like a child. Every time I yawned she'd go "Aw, Robin's tired" like I was a little kid in need of a nap. I yawn a lot, lemme alone! I eventually kinda snapped at her about it 'cause it was really getting on my nerves and she kinda stopped except instead of saying "Aw, Robin's tired," she'd say "Aw...oh wait, I'm not supposed to say anything, okay, okay, I'll stop". One day I actually was tired and my mother suggested I go out and rest by the pool and just set an alarm on my phone so I wouldn't get a sunburn. The reason I was going by the pool was so that I could get some peace and quiet away from my family. My grandmother heard this, however, and decided that she HAD to stick around while I laid by the pool because she had to be there to wake me up because I might be in such a deep sleep that the alarm wouldn't wake me. Grr. I've been getting up by alarm for years, I barely ever sleep through it and there's no way I'd sleep through it when I'm sitting around in some plastic lawn chair for only an hour. She also decided that I needed my mother's permission in order to drive on the freeway in her (my grandmother's) car. This really kinda got to me because I'm twenty years old and no one has said I need my mother's permission for anything since I graduated high school. I mean, I do ask my mother about doing stuff, but mostly it's "Would you mind if I did this?", not "May I please do this?" because we both know that if there's something I really want to do I'm going to do it with or without her permission. That's kinda been the deal between us since a few months after I turned 18 and it's saved us from hundreds of fights. She might not like some of the stuff I do, but she understands that it's up to me now and usually keeps her mouth shut. This way I get to do stuff I want and if there's a negative consequence, then I have to deal with it. I learn to deal with life a lot better that way than if my mother forbid me from doing anything she didn't like. Anyway, the thing about driving on the freeway was that...it was my grandmother's car. She was the one who needed to give permission, not my mother. But she didn't want to take responsibility at all so she put it on my mom to decide, when it's not actually any of my mom's business if I drive someone else's car or not. If it were my mom's car I'd understand. But it wasn't. So....grr.

And the one time I actually said, "Hey, look, I can take care of myself, I'm a big girl," she patted my arm, gave me a rather patronizing look and said in a kind of babying voice "I know, I know, you're a big girl."

I feel like a bit of an asshole saying all this crap. I love my grandmother, she's my grandma, how could I not? We had some pleasant conversations, she paid for me to go to workshops and helped me out with my pictures and resume. She took me to the mall to get my iPod fixed and waited around with me for two hours until they could get to me. She let me stay in her house for a week and a half and eat her food and even got food for me that she probably won't eat herself. She took me out for lunch and dinner. She honestly tried to make sure I got to do the stuff I wanted to do and to have a good time and she did her best to try and stay out of my way when I needed space to myself.

So don't take this as me completely trashing my grandmother. I really did not say any of this stuff to her or act like a bitch or yell at her or anything. I maybe told her I didn't like her doing something once or twice, but I wasn't really rude about it, I think, just straight forward and then I'd drop it. I didn't complain when helping her with stuff in the house or carrying things for her or whatever. I even got her some of the houseware stuff she needed when I was out running my own errands. This is just me blowing off some steam. Please do not think I am horrible and ungrateful. I care about my grandmother and her feelings. Please don't say "You should be nicer to her and more grateful for your grandmother while she's around." Because I am. But she is kind of a difficult person sometimes, as is everyone, and instead of completely blowing up and being a hardcore bitch to her, I'm writing on my blog. So please don't give me shit about it.

And now I must go. I'm visiting Josh now and waiting for him to get back from some career day thing and I've been on the computer far too long. I should like...go be in the sunshine or something. Bye for now.