Also, there was my birthday.

Don't ask me why I just started this with "also".

But like I was saying, Saturday was my birthday. I started out the day by waking up far too early and going to an audition in NYC which I probably won't get anything from since there were hundreds upon hundreds of people there..and that was just the two hours I was waiting on line, the audition went on for about six more hours after that...

After the audition, which I won't really dwell on 'cause..yeah...I stood on line for two hours..what more do you need to know? I went to see my best friend from childhood, Alice. A lot of the time when I've tried to hang out or talk with Alice in recent years it's been kinda strained since we were so young when I moved away and we really had nothing in common in our lives any more other than being friends when we were little. But it was actually REALLY fun! We didn't get to do much together 'cause she had a driving lesson to go to. But we got muffins and Starbucks stuff, which she refused to let me pay for (so now I must go in for her birthday and buy her muffins and coffee) and sat in Riverside Park and ate and drank and talked about stuff going on in our lives now and who gets drunk and gay best friends (and how hip you seem when you have one) and who's done sketchy things. It was great. I think the problem was for so long we were stuck in seeing each other the way we did when we were 6 and 7 and..hey..we're not 6 and 7 anymore. I hope I get to see her again soon. :-) PS I think everyone would love her, she wears Audrey Hepburn like sunglasses, has a coffee addiction, likes vintage stuff and has awesome completely natural red hair which looks like what I kinda wanted mine to look like when I dyed it and failed miserably at that. So yes. I want Alice to come visit and meet people and then we'll all have lotsa fun.

So, after I got back from NY and had a nice long nap (hehe, which various people called me during and who I went "go away, I'm sleeping" to) Linda and Mike and Diane and I went to Olive Garden for birthday dinner yumminess. Sucks that it was only the four of us (Mari, what's with your parents and their blatant hatred of me?!?! Yes, that's selfcentered sounding considering you were the one who got grounded and obviously it sucks more for you, but hey...I wanted my Mari at my birthday! I haven't seen you in FOREVER!...PS I think it's really funny how your mom thinks I'm slutty..but a sober slut...I shall explain at a later date...::muah::), but it was still a lot of fun. Oh man, Mike got me the most awesome present. He got me a Sir Robin action figure from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And it TALKS!!! See, I get a ton of Batman and Robin jokes and Robin Hood jokes, but no one has ever been cool enough to do a Sir Robin thing. But yes. Mike rocks. As does Monty Python. And my lovely new action figure. Whee!!

After dinner we all sort of went our seperate ways (we could have chilled at my house, but I kind of uninvited everyone 'cause I was tired and my ravioli was making my tummy all confused..sorry guys..I still <3 you all...please don't hate me!). But then I got to talk to Matt for quite awhile and that made me extremely happy since even though we usually talk everyday, it's usually only for a few minutes to say hi and make sure that neither of us has had too many nervous breakdowns that day and I miss just getting to have a nice long random conversation sometimes. And I was a little bummed that he wasn't around for my birthday (and I know Matt, it couldn't be helped, I understand, but it still bummed me out a little bit) so getting to talk to him for awhile was good.

Just saw a "natural male enhancement" commercial on TV...ooookay.

So yes. My birthday was pretty good. And now...I do believe it's sleepy time. G'night everybody.

Oh my goodness who CARES if Kotex wrappers are less crinkly now?! Were crinkly pad wrappers ever THAT big of a deal?! C'mon now....a pad wrapper is a pad wrapper is a pad wrapper and who gives a mother-loving SHIT if your pad wrapper crinkles?!?! Why waste your time making pad wrappers less crinkly when you could...I dunno...cure cancer or something! Jesus H. Christ!!!!

Stupid Kotex. I simply just don't understand.

Do you ever have a dream that's more exhausting than being awake? I hate when that happens.

Also, I quit my job. I was just too fed up and in pain and exhausted and there's not a single thing I like about the job other than painting, which I can do without working there. I spent three hours today filling paint and only got to stop because I told my boss my hands were getting all scratched up from opening paint bottle after paint bottle. I've been wanting to quit for quite awhile, and I just hit my breaking point today. I come home from my job exhausted, not from doing tons of strenuous work, but simply from putting up with my boss, who I absolutely cannot stand and who treats me like a moron (she constantly feels the need to remind me how to FOLD PAPER!) and actually calls me "loser" quite often. In a joking manner, but it really bothers me to have my boss calling me a loser constantly because she doesn't like the way I'm washing paint brushes. She also refuses to let me do anything without constantly looking over my shoulder, and honestly, the way she treats some people, specifically children, makes me want to scream. I refused to watch her treat another child like a rag doll. After calling a bunch of people and going "Give me a good reason not to quit my job?" and no one could. Including my mother.

And now my back hurts and I'm cranky. Time for not-blogging.

you are mediumturquoise #48D1CC

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well. Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it. Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Pretty accurate, I think...

It's St. Patrick's Day! But who cares, 'cause it's also Miles' birthday. Happy Birthday, Miles!

Wow...St. Patrick's Day AND your birthday? I guess this means you'll be getting DOUBLY drunk! Wait...this is Miles we're talking about...okay, I guess that means you'll be getting QUADRUPILY drunk! You old Irish drunkard.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MILES!

HARRY, NO!!!!!

Third Day in a row that my grandmother has called asking what Whole Foods used to be called. Fresh Fields, if you're wondering.

Ahaha, the Ortho-Tri-Cyclan commercial has pictures of big flowers that look like vaginas...hahaha.

Yeah, so I had a panic attack for NO ACTUAL REASON. That's so FUCKED UP. And actually just was really annoying more than anything. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular and all of a sudden, "Um..wait...why am I feeling panicky?". In my head I was fine and calm and not freaking about anything, but my body was feeling all jumpy and like my heart was racing (even though it wasn't). It wasn't a very bad attack, which I think is probably due to my medicine. The fact that I had an attack at all is annoying 'cause I was really liking NOT having them and thought that taking the medicine was keeping them under better control than this. Although I think due to the medicine it was pretty bareable, so I'm not too upset. I just hope nobody wants to change my meds around 'cause..grr. That'd just be freakin' annoying. Anyway, it's possible that it could have happened 'cause I had a little bit of a stomache ache and for some reason that might have made my body go "ATTACK!!!!" even though I'm not freaking.

And I realize now that I don't think I like my meds being called "crazy medicine" even just joking 'cause I already had enough issues of not wanting to take them in the first place and the reason I could get myself to start on them was because I realized they weren't 'cause I was crazy but 'cause my genes make some chemical or another react when it's not supposed to, which isn't so much crazy as a medical thing. Like instead of asthma or ingrown toenails running in my family it just happens to be chemical imbalances (along with other really icky things like cancer and that sort). And if I had to take medicine for asthma or an ingrown toenail (which I don't really think you take medicine for) we wouldn't really make fun of it or anything. Okay, well maybe the ingrown toenail, but you get the point. Not that anyone meant anything by joking about my meds, but I think maybe it's better not to 'cause it makes me feel kinda bad about something that I can't really control very well.

But anyway, I think I was pretty good at not spazzing last night...I mean, I didn't start crying or shaking or just turning into a total head case...I just did my best to get distracted and ignore it by talking to people online, which didn't work THAT well, but certainly helped, and then waking up my mom and being like "Hey, I'm having a panic attack for no reason, come sit downstairs with me and help me calm down?" which turned into my mom being half asleep and once in awhile asking me if I was sure that there was nothing going on that was making me panic (I had to tell her about three times that it was just totally random, 'cause she gets suspicious) and at one point asking me if I had been drinking alcohol, which made no sense 'cause I only drink when I'm at a party and then only a very little bit 'cause the taste is kinda blech and she knows this. And where would I get the alcohol from, anyway? We don't really keep anything in my house except random wine that nobody drinks very often and I usually forget is there and (very) occasionally some beer which people drink even less often. Plus I wouldn't be so stupid as to drink my parents alcohol 'cause since nobody drinks very much in my house it would not go unnoticed. But anyway, after she got done being suspicious and making sure she didn't need to take me to a doctor it was just me rambling on to her about nothing in particular to keep myself from thinking too much while she drifted in and out of being awake. Eventually I was calm enough that I didn't really feel like I needed to be THAT distracted anymore and she went upstairs and I watched a Conan rerun and fell asleep.

But now I am awake and that is no good 'cause I absolutely have to be in my psych class and I have to be awake enough to get there and stay awake. Boo.

Mac killed my inner child..... This man is my hero. Fucking. Hilarious. Go lookit. :-D

I kinda want to change my template...but all the templates are so UGLY!!! Gah! What happened to all the good templates blogger used to have? That's just ass.

Matt came home early! And I TOTALLY called it. Don't ask me how. Maybe I'm psychic. Or just way too observant. Like I remembered how he tried to surprise me the last time he came home for break,and how once he was coming back from a weekend away and said "Oh, we're stuck on the highway, I'll be home in two hours" and then showed up at my door five minutes later. And then when I called his cell today it wasn't doing the clicking thing it always does when he's in Virginia. And then he called me and said he was walking back to his dorm, but his voice sounded clearer than usual and I couldn't hear anyone talking in the background which I always hear and it didn't sound like he was walking. And how he asked me "Where are you? Just curious." when I talked to him. And how when I said to him, "I kinda had this idea in my head that you'd come home today and surprise me." and he just said, "Hmm...".

So I was talking to him on the phone and he goes "I'm walking back to my dorm and I'm going to sleep" and for some reason I had this feeling he was coming home today (plus I just really wanted him to) so I was looking out the window half expecting to see him pull up in front of my house. But no Matt! So that was disappointing and I thought maybe I'd been expecting it too happen too much and now I was just disappointed and would have to wait. So I went downstairs and told my parents how I had secretly been hoping Matt was actually coming home today and told me tomorrow to surprise me. They said sorry, and I sat on the arm of the couch and pouted and watched some of Monk with them and then at about 10:30 or 10:45 the doorbell rang. And I jumped up and ran to see who was at the door. As soon as I saw Matt through the window I started jumping up and down and screaming "I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!" and then opened the door and literally JUMPED on him. Like jumped completely off the ground, legs wrapped around him and everything. That sounds dirty, but it's true. Heh. Yay for Matt for surprising me. It was the best surprise!

So yes, then we went to the diner with Mike (which I was going to do anyway even before Matt showed up) and that was highly fun. There was much talk of hot chicks and "utensils". Heee heee heee. And our waitress was very nice and then forgot to charge us for a hot chocolate and I felt guilty so we left her a big tip.

And now I'm going to sleep (sort of) 'cause I have work at ten tomorrow. Blech.

And why has everyone turned their cell phones off?

I'm so bored I could actually, literally, PHYSICALLY cry. I'm so lonely I don't know what to do with myself. I can't remember the last time I had a real conversation with someone other than my mother. And I'm pretty sure whenever that was, it was over the computer. And I'm pretty freaking cranky. And there's not much I can do about it. I haven't been able to hang out with people when they want me to, and when I've attempted to hang out with people I get nothing. I'm an only child, I should be used to this, but it's just too freaking much.

Also I saw my boss practically attack a child today. I was this close to smacking her in the face.

And NO I'm NOT PMSing.

Mm..sleepy...have work in half an hour...ugh.

Somebody wake me up in twenty minutes. I'll be your friend.

::snore::

I kinda miss those long rambling entries I could make in high school 'cause there was just so much random stuff going on. Now it's just like:

I overslept today. And then I had work and I had to wash stuff.

And that's just no fun.

So anyway, I did go to work today. Yesterday. Whatever you may want to call it. Some woman came in with two kids and a Swedish Au Pair. Which I just found ridiculous. Not the Swedish part. The Au Pair part. Because for some reason half the time I hear about people having an Au Pair I think it's possible they're just really lazy. 'Cause I can understand having a nanny or a babysitter or something when you're not around or at work or something, but I find it kinda weird when you need to hire someone to help watch your kids when you're there yourself. Maybe if you had a lot of kids, or if you had kids with special needs, or had special needs yourself. I dunno. I shouldn't judge, 'cause I don't know why she had an Au Pair. I feel all mean saying bad stuff about her...but yet I do so anyway. Ain't I a bitch? Okay, I didn't really say anything that bad, just that I thought it was kinda weird. She did say something about the woman being new. Maybe she was just having her there so she could make sure she wasn't going to make the kids cry and stuff when she wasn't around. I had some woman do that when I babysat her kids, once. Of course, this is the same woman who forgot to tell me her daughter was still potty-training and not exactly at a very far stage in the process. But that's besides the point. Anyway...

So this woman comes in and I think she put her kids hand prints on something or other. Lots of people do that. You paint the kids hand, have them put the handprint on something, and then you wash their hands IMMEDEATLY because otherwise disaster is surely emminent. I don't know if I spelled that right. But whatever.

So yeah, instead of getting her kids to wash their hands for some reason she let her son paint his entire arm green. And then thought it was really funny or something. Um...what?!

There was green EVERYWHERE. There was green on the chair he was sitting on, on the floor, on the chair he stood on to get to the sink to finally wash his hands, on the sink, ON THE SOAP! There was green paint all over the soap. I had to WASH the soap! You're not supposed to have to WASH soap! It's self-cleaning! It's just insane!

The kids also thought that the store was called "Paintin' the Tables" or something, 'cause there was not only paint all over every inch of the little ceramic pallettes they get to put paint on, but about two square inches of paint around each pallette. Bah! Crazy people. I mean, you expect some amount of messiness when mixing paint with kids, but...I HAD TO WASH THE SOAP! JEEZ!

So then these people were leaving and I was in the back washing some stuff and I hear the little boy looking at things and asking his mom and my boss what they are:

Boy: What's that?
My boss: That's a cow.
Boy: And what's that?
My boss:...Um....that's where the milk comes from on the cow...
Boy's Mom: Yeah..he points that out and asks about it everytime he sees it in his picture books.

Oh. Lord. I just thought horrible horrible thoughts just now about what an utter actually looks like and how they boy might think he can get milk....don't ask...it's just..disgusting...what's WRONG with me?!

Also, my boss keeps her dogs at work. Which is all cool 'cause..dogs..cute. Except one of them is little and likes to attack me when I walk in. And this afternoon she was trying to eat my shoes or something and to stop her my boss started going in her face and snuggling her and giving her kisses. Which is cute, but what if that's why the dog keeps attacking me?! Because every time she attacks me she gets snuggles and kisses! Eep...maybe I should just get her some doggy treats or something....

Mari, I called you on Tuesday, except you're silly and don't leave your cell phone on! Cut that out! There's a rather amusing voicemail on there for you, if you haven't checked it yet.

My dad wrote a purim schpeil (sp? psha, whatever) for his office. Schpeil is like a skit. They have them at temples and stuff usually and it's acting out the story of Esther and it's usually really ridiculously silly and there's lots of people dressed up and screaming and stuff. It can be highly amusing. My dad wrote one for his office because his company is some Jewish thingy or other. I don't really understand it. But whatever.

So he wrote a Purim Schpeil. And for some reason, there are cowboy hats involved....um.....

So anyway....

College people, come home already. I'm bored. I went to see my friend Alicia last weekend and that was great and I love her and missed her like crazy, but she would talk a lot about doing stuff with her friends around there and it just made me miss everyone. Including people who are still here who I don't get to see like...ever. Rar. Probably my own fault. I probably don't put enough effort forward. I'm sorry. Bad me.

But people, lets all do something fun, pleeeaasssee? I'm in desperate need of giant friend orgy..in the non-orgy sense...but more in the sense of getting together and having so much fun that for some reason half of us end up on top of each other (which has happened quite often, if you recall) as if in an orgy, but not ACTUALLY....or....yeah...

We can play Wolverine!!!

K, leaving now, gotta thing to do, gotta stop procrastinating...

My birthday is in 25 days!