You're a mean one...

I am a Grinch.

I am a Scrooge.

I'm all the bad people from all the holiday stories.

But it's all those stupid middle schoolers faults. They bang on my door with no costumes and demand candy and they're surrounding me and much bigger than me and if I don't give them candy, they egg my house. I even heard a few of them plotting at the store today. And now I am cranky 'cause since when are you allowed to trick or treat with no costume?

And also the mom's with the adorable little kids. The kids are sweet and cute and take one candy with their chubby little hands and the mom's reach in behind them and smile sweetly at me and yell "Happy Halloween, thank you!" really loudly while grabbing three more candies from the bowl. No! That is not how it works! The kids seem to get it, the moms don't, what is up with that? Kids get candy, not moms, and don't tell me that's all for your kid 'cause the little three year old in the dinosaur costume can barely pronounce "candy" let alone eat that much of it.

I am such a scrooge. I don't even like myself tonight.

Bah humbug.