I just realized why I'm so scared to be a senior. It means there's one year left until everyone leaves.

Some people know this about me and some people don't. I have this fear about people leaving me. I don't know why, it's kind of crazy. When I was in 1st grade I'd get really upset every day when my parents dropped me off at school. I guess I was afraid that I'd never see them again.

When I was in middle school I made some really great friends. People I thought I'd be friends with forever. We all graduated from 8th grade together. By the time ninth grade started most of them had moved away and didn't even speak to me anymore. This time I was right. They left and I never saw them again.

And now I'm a senior. My older friends have already left and are starting their new lives and I already feel like they're gone forever, even though I know that's completely stupid. Or maybe not. I don't know.

I guess the whole point of this insane post is that I'm really really scared that everyone's going to leave and I'll never see them again. There's a part of me that says this is ridiculous, we'll keep in touch, we'll call, we'll e-mail, we'll visit. And there's this other part that's much louder than the first that simply says, "No, you won't."

Mostly, I'm just really scared that the rest of life is just people leaving you.