A lesson...

My mom's immediate family and extended family had a big feud when she was younger. We don't speak to most of the extended family anymore. I've never even met any of my mother's family besides my grandmother, aunt, great-grandfather (when I was a baby) and my great aunt's family (all of two or three times).

Because of this, when I was younger, my mom made it clear to me that you must make peace with people before you leave an argument or yucky situation. We were at a party and a friend of mine and I had ganged up on another one of our friends and were picking on her. She told me I had to apologize and make it right before we left because her family never made up and she never spoke to any of them again. That really stuck with me.

This is why even to this day, if I have an argument with a friend and we do not make up and be nice to each other before going our seperate ways it REALLY bothers me. Stupid argument, serious argument, I don't care, I hate it. It makes me all unhappy and twitchy and feel unnecessarily bad.

So I don't get people who want to not talk about things and make them right. I've been in the middle of heart wrenching arguments with people where I'm sobbing and desperate to just make things better and they'll want to stop talking and just go to bed. I just don't understand that. I just can't do that. How can you just stop and leave it? If you don't fix it, it just keeps going, and why would you want to keep feeling that way for longer than you had to, even if you are tired?

I do understand the need for taking a break from an argument and cooling down so you can be clearer and not hurt each other unnecessarily. But it's important that before you leave you make it clear that even if you're fighting you still care for each other and don't want to hurt each other, that you need some time to calm down and think, and that the subject will be continued later. What I can't deal with is when one party is clearly distraught and the other just leaves the argument altogether because they don't want to deal with it anymore and the other person be damned. That's wrong and unfair and it's happened to me too many times.

This is all very out of nowhere, but I just realized I've never really made my feelings on this sort of thing very clear. Maybe if I explain them, people will understand better. Please don't just leave someone you care about in distress, even if you are mad at them for the moment. That's all I really had to say.

G'night.