In the car with my mother this afternoon she mentions that they found a blood clot in my grandfather's leg and he needs to get shots of blood thinning medication. The doctors said he or my grandmother could do it from home, but they both couldn't handle it so he was going to go to the hospital to get his shots.

Later this afternoon we're back home and my mom calls me downstairs to say that they're keeping my grandfather in the hospital for five days to treat the blood clot.

I got home from work and suddenly it might not just be a blood clot. He might have a Pulmonary Embolism, which is a blood clot in the lungs. It can be treated with medication, but they're not sure that it's actually a Pulmonary Embolism. I know that they can treat it, but I also know it's serious. I watched enough ER to know that much.

And the thing is, I'm scared. In all the time my grandfather's been sick, I haven't really been scared. When it started, they said it was totally treatable and I believed them. Then he got treated, and look at that, it didn't go away. It grew. And then he got thinner. And the bags under his eyes got bigger. And he can't pay attention as well as he used to. And suddenly my grandfather started to look old.

And now I realize. God. My grandfather might die.

I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight. I'm afraid I'll wake up and he'll be gone. Oh god, I'm so afraid.