An Ode to the Best Jeans Ever

I ripped my favorite jeans and it nearly made me cry. They ripped right under the back pocket so it's not something easily fixed or ignored. They are the only jeans I've been able to find in years that aren't super-freaking-look-at-my-uterus-low-rise. I'm sorry, I know people like low rise jeans, and on many people they look great, but I am just so uncomfortable in them and I don't think I even look that good in them. I like jeans I can pull on and run and jump and bend over and work and play and be me in and not have to think about till the end of the day when I take 'em off. I don't want to show off my cute thongs (which I don't wear) or my bad ass lower back tattoo (which I don't have). I'm a well proportioned girl, I believe, but I don't have sexy curvy Jennifer Lopez hips. I'm fine with that, I like my body, but I can't find a damn pair of low rise jeans that actually want to stay put. They slip even lower than they're actually supposed to go 'cause I'm just not built to wear them. Even with a belt I still end up having to pull the damn things up all day. That or I have to make my belt so tight that it leaves a mark when I take it off. Ow. I don't want super high mom jeans. Just not super low ones. The problem is that the people making and selling these jeans seem to think that all women are built like J.Lo or Beyonce. I'm a skinny white girl. I barely have hips. I have practically no ass. It just ain't happening. But last year (or was it two years ago?) I found jeans that were perfect! They sat on the perfect place on my hips. I could sit down comfortably and not worry that anyone could see my underwear, but still be somewhat fashionable. I didn't have to pull them up all the time. They were perfect and wonderful and I could just slip them on and feel comfortable and confident and like me. What more could a girl want from her jeans? Now they are ripped and sad. Woe is me and my ripped jeans.

R.I.P. Fantastic jeans. You made me oh so happy. I'm sorry I didn't do something to prevent you from ripping.

(I'm thinking of trying to sew them up or patch them. I couldn't really wear them to a party or to work, but at least I could wear them when I'm just hanging around. I dunno. A pair of jeans with a patch on the ass just don't seem to build as much confidence in me as my perfect jeans pre-rip.)




*Yes, I did just write an entire entry about my jeans. If you read the whole thing, thanks, that was nice of you and I appreciate it. If you think I'm silly...well...clearly you have not been paying attention to my blog previously or you would have realized that by now. G'night. :-)